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I'm in love with so many people on here

We need to bring back the idea of love from pre-Soviet Russia. I’ve been reading Anna Karinina and The Idiot and I really like the idea. It’s usually a girl talking to another girl in the books.

It’s not “I love you let’s sleep together” love. It’s a completely asexual, “you are so awesome. You don’t know how awesome you are. Let’s be best friends. I wish I was like you.”

Like a little kid loving an older kid thing. Before we knew what sex was. I don’t know if you would call it in love. Maybe enraptured or infatuated by the person. Like you just think they’re the greatest thing since sliced bread.

There was an interesting one. One girl was so enraptured by another girl Spoiler alert for “The Idiot” that she decided because she was a “debased” woman (in other words she had sex before marriage even though she was more than just basically raped) that this other girl should marry the man of her dreams who really cared for her. She set them up and wrote the girl telling her how wonderful she thought she was (and yes, she did use the words “I"m in love with you”). The prince was the man of her dreams (there were a ton of princes in Russia at that time so it wasn’t exactly the Emperor’s son, it was a lesser title) she wanted to marry him off to this other girl one, because she didn’t feel like she was good enough for him and two, she thought this other girl was so perfect that she deserved him. End of Spoiler Alert

Why don’t we have platonic love like this any more?

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@onceapoet thinks he’s captain Stubing from The Love Boat! :wink:

I think it has to do with the Pill.

Maybe we are too eager to have sex, and that does short circuit some intimacy, but love during the time you talk about was more a form of possession. People in the upper classes professed the deepest love for each other, but that was probably because they had to rely on each other to protect themselves from all the people in the lower classes who they were screwing over. Women didn’t have the right to vote and their bodies were rigidly controlled. They wore tight corsettes to make their wastes look smaller that sometimes caused internal damage to their organs. I really don’t think there is much to get nostalgic about in those times.

I believe we do still have plutonic love… but a lot of the media and other influences have sort of twisted the ideas and almost erased the context.

Platonic is subtle… it’s a quiet thing that comes up and then fades… in these times and cultures… we’re not in collective mind set to appreciate the subtle.

It’s the grand passions and the hot public screaming relationships that grab the headlines… not the quiet long standing friendships.

But I have begun to believe that every part of life has a pendulum… it swings to one side… and then it comes back. People will value plutonic relationships again… it will just take some time.

Good writing by the way.

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I seek an eternal platonia.

Like when i was a wee little lad. Platonia was the shiiiiittttttttt.

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Might take some event like Aids was - but the propensity is there. Used a big word to say what I meant.

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I’m platonically in love with half the forum. It’s just the way I operate. Platonic crushes are the best crushes!

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I don’t want to live back then. Believe me. Maybe it is a warped sort of fantasy like wanting to be chivalrous like the knights of the middle ages. I would think it would be nice to be able to be that close to someone without having to worry that they like you like that. The woman that Kitty loved (Varenka I think. It’s a Russian book and I don’t have it right in front of me so :frowning: ) would have been absolutely no protection to her from anything. She had the status of a lady but she was more or less her adopted mom’s servant. Kitty loved her because she was such a kind person. Varenka cared about and helped everyone and Kitty wanted to be just like her. She couldn’t have protected her from the wind. None of these women could have protected each other from anything or any one. I didn’t seem to find any similar relationships between the men in any of the books.

@SurprisedJ and @sleepoptimistic You’re both very sweet but I didn’t write The Idiot or Anna Karinina. :frowning: I really wish I had though. I would especially recommend The Idiot. It has a lot of wonderful sentiments in it and some truly good characters.

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