I’ve been out of my depressive episode for around 2 weeks now so I think I’m in the clear. It was a reasonably mild one but it lasted a whole friggin month which was just awful.
I’m doing pretty well lately. There’s been a LOT of med adjustments going on so still working through that & occasional breakthrough symptoms when I switch/try out new meds. Mostly though things are cool, work is going well, still waiting to hear back if I was accepted to the nursing program or not, just finished another round of prerequisites and am trying to enjoy my spring break now. I look forward to catching up with everyone’s lives here to see what I missed
Still depakote, we tried going up doses of seroquel (I started seroquel idk if I mentioned that before I left here) and it ended pretty poorly, heavily sedated me but did not quell my fear/anxiety at night so instead what happened is I was falling asleep at night but becoming stuck in extremely vivid, constant nightmares that I could not wake myself up from because of how deep in sleep I was/the sedation. Then I would be sedated pretty much the entire next day even with modafinil so it was like before I started treating my narcolepsy, and I’d be incredibly disturbed/sent into a depressed state from the nightmares to where I was drinking during the day.
So now I’m back on the tiny 50 mg dose of it with klonopin. But I’m starting to gain tolerance to the klonopin again…
I’ve also tried lunesta, which worked only at the highest dose, and even then only worked for 3 days before pooping out, and now I’ve been given silenor as a sleep aid, pretty sure he just started at me the highest dose and it did absolutely nothing, I waited over an hour for it to take effect, nothing happened and I had to take my other sleep aids instead. So I’ll give it one more try tonight in case last night was a fluke but I’m not particularly hopeful.
Symptom wise my mood is fine, and during the day I am literally having no symptoms of psychosis, no voices, maybe an occasional visual hallucination but not often. At night if I don’t use my sleep aid somehow the tactile stuff & verbal abuse has gotten even worse.
So really my doctors are racing to find me either an effective sleep aid or an effective antipsychotic, whichever comes first.
GABA based meds do not make me sleepy but help me sleep through the night without nightmares. Seroquel so far has been the only med that seems to consistently make me fall asleep, but at 50 mg does not keep me asleep, and I tend to have extremely vivid dreams on it which without klonopin become nightmares. Brain chemistry is weird.
Brain chemistry is weird.