So to begin, I think ive discovered I’m schizophrenic. Ive been “tripping balls” to say the least for a a couple weeks now and I finally looked up the symptoms or what other people have gone through and found a little bit of relief with other peoples comments on this website.
The thing is ive never been through this. I think when I was about 7 or 8 I thought everyone could read my mind and it scared the ■■■■ out of me but soon after I realized no one really could.
I’m 20 years old now and I think everyone can hear me “projecting my thoughts” where I live. I think I can hear multiple people I know, talking to me through our minds or something…
The first day I started hearing them I could hear multiple people I know. Friends, family members, acquaintances all telling me to kill myself. I couldn’t eat, drink, sleep for a week and I thought I would never be able to go outside again or no one would talk to me out loud…
Ive asked almost all of my family members if it’s real and they’ve told me no. My parent’s get mad when I ask them and don’t wanna talk to me about it like it is real or something. I’m not even sure. It’s not funny to me at all and it’s actually quite scary to hear almost every person you know attacking you. I can barely function at all anymore and I don’t know what to do.
My issues were sort of the reverse of what you are having. I thought I could read people’s thoughts and would “use” this to my advantage. I would get made at people because I thought that I knew that they were thinking bad things about me. Or would make assumptions in other ways because I knew what they were thinking.
I also see things that are not there. Mostly cats, but there were dogs, horses, people, weird deformed creatures, etc.
All this didn’t convince me to go in. Not even the really bad depression I was having. But then I started getting weekly panic attacks, I decided I needed help and went to see a therapist. She got me to see a psychiatrist. It was a good call. I don’t know how much worse things would have gotten and I was loosing control of my emotions.
I think you should also seek help. Don’t be scared to do so. It is not as scary as you might think. I was scared to at first too, but I did it anyways because the panic attacks were more scary.
Good luck to you and stick around the forum. I find it very therapeutic. Oh and welcome!
I can’t tell until the image fades in this weird way. Its like at first I think I see the thing there and start to react to it, then I can’t tell what is there at all for a sec. Then it is gone.
As for the mind reading, I thought for some weeks that I could read people’s minds and was using it. I never told anyone because I thought of it as my special power that was my secret. Then, I just stopped thinking about it for a while and forgot about it for a bit. Later on when I started seeing things and really suspecting that there was something wrong with me, I remembered it and then I was like “oh…”
I also had other delusions like this, but more on the lines like people were going to attack me. People were coming to my house to lock me up, etc. These all disappeared faster (~2 hours or so). So I did not forget them. Just thought it was silly for me to have thought that.
I know this very well. Without the overwhelming voices mine are silent but still just as loud.
Nobody wants you to kill yourself.
You should never do that.
But a part of your Self has to die in order to grow amd regain your insight. Your life is in your hands. One way or another, get help as soon as you can.
Whether it’s meds, hospitalization, therapy, or a comination of all three. It will help if you believe. Hope this helps.