Sorry, man. But you are just trying to argue your delusions. You don’t seem to be asking for help resolving anything in this thread and I think the advice you have already received is about all the helpful advice you are going to get in this thread. Also some are making comments about their own delusions which may end up feeding yours. So, I am closing based on this rule :
There are solid steps you can take to help to start working your way out of your situation based on what you have been advised here. Whether or not you take them is going to be up to you.
Feel free to open another thread on this topic in the future if you are open to overcoming these delusions.