Sad,hurt, angry,weepy,etc. Heard from my brother that they’re now saying my Dad has 3-6 months to live. His heart and liver are failing. Both of us were kept out of the loop as to how bad things were until very recently. Now my brother gets news and lets me know. My sister who’s known things are crap for ages has completely blanked me re speaking to me directly. My father is frail and weak, but still fine mentally. He sends regular texts to my brother. I’ve had hardly any emails or messages from him for ages. I have sent him emails. I feel angry and hurt, and guilty that I’m feeling like that. That I’m out in the cold.
Both my brother and daughter are in agreement that mentally and physically I’m not up to flying to Charlotte to see him, even with my daughter accompanying me. Can you love and yet feel hurt in equal measure? Be angry and sad in equal measure?
I’m so sorry. I think your emotional response is totally normal. It hurts to be left out like that. A lot. Can you video chat with your dad? Maybe get your daughter to speak on your behalf to the family about setting up a video chat so you can see your dad that way.
Still struggling. My daughter is not happy with the way my sister has behaved in keeping my brother and I uninformed for so long . Now my sister tells my brother, but doesn’t tell me anything. My brother,give him his due, does update me on what he’s heard from my sister. My daughter has mentioned face timing. She’d have to set it up for me,as I’m not too good with that kind of thing.
I emailed my Dad to tell him I love him and that I’m thinking of him. He sent a short but good reply back. A little after I got an email from my brother saying that our stepmum is in denial, and doesn’t talk nicely to my Dad. My oldest niece,who is out there helping, has already had cause to tell her off for it.
Historically although 10 years older than my stepmum my Dad has always been the one expected to see to any tasks that require doing. I’ve just had another email and she is apparently bossing him around and barking at him. It reminds me quite a lot of what I heard re my grandmother’s behaviour towards my grandfather when he was dying. My niece is quite laid back , so things must be quite bad re my stepmum’s behaviour for my niece to have a go at her.
