When I was in the board & care home 5 years ago it was different. I had just spent 20 years living independently in regular society. When I got in the board & care it was a piece of cake, I was used to being treated normally and as independent.
I had been isolating on my own and the combination of being independent and being around people again was good for me. It’s hard to fathom now but I felt accepted and liked and had some really good times there. It sucked and I complained and I wasn’t always happy but I made some connections and even had fun sometimes.
BUT now it’s different. I’m not in danger of relapsing or going to a board & care home but if I did I know I would not like it there. The people would be above me and I wouldn’t have any friends. I regressed so much these past couple years I have nothing to offer. I would still work but I’d probably be dependent and nobody would like me. I got away with a lot at the other one. There would be no more midnight strolls on the grounds at 2:00 am. No talking to everybody.
IDK, that’s kind of how it was at the board & care from 1990-95. It wasn’t horrible but I wasn’t one of the guys. Part of the problem was I had just gotten clean which made me odd man out. I don’t know, I miss being around so many people but I don’t like sharing a room even though I got lucky and had a roommate I got along with and we had a lot of laughs.