I was so much older than I'm younger than that now

Was thinking this morning how simple and spiritually together I was before my illness hit. Alot of times I wish I was still that girl/woman I was before sz. I remember feeling whole, and confident, I loved myself. Nowadays I live with paranoia about everything…its getting better. My social skills are really bad after 6 years of untreated psychosis. I have no friends except for 2 of my neighbors. I feel like I’m on my first day at school and have to relearn how people are and how the world operates because I’ve been MIA for so long. I feel like I’m younger now than I was 10 years ago. I feel robbed and like I’m starting life all over, brand new arena, and i have alot of work to do i guess. But looking back to 10 years ago (my “older” self) so awesome! And I’m very thankful for those good years where I was just intune. At peace. I’d like to build myself back up to be on that level again if popossible.

I wonder if anybody else has felt this way…or maybe someone who’s overcome this, and if so how.

Bob Dylan’s song (mostly just that line :slight_smile: although all the lyrics are great in that song) popped into head this morning and I was like “that’s it!”


I recognize the lyrics right away, LOL

I think I know how you feel. When I look back, the old me was involved in so many things, and worked hard for a living.

This new version of me, finds it very hard to engage in things that I love, and I lead a much more secluded life now

Could be better, could be worse

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Ha! I knew somebody had to recognize it. It’s a great song. Hit a note with me today.

I definitely relate a " new version" of yourself…
I guess your right could be worse. For me it has be way worse in the past. You’ve reminded me (thank you) to be grateful that my problems right now are nothing as bad as before. With that being said I still struggle and trip, and feel like I should know social skills better at my age. And that in general I’ve lost many years of learning you do as you get older due to psychosis. So like the song…I ungrew…I grew up to be younger…lol . Lifes a trip, I never thought this would be my life. It has brought me some far out places…


I know who Bob Dylan is though I really don’t know his music. Here’s the song I think of. It’s by Ray Boltz:

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The song is called “my back pages” by bob dylan. I tried to upload/share a youtube video but I couldn’t figure it out. He’s got some good lyrics. And thanks for sharing your song I like listening to new music and it’s cool how some things bring up your own memory and you can relate.

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How do you do that, post a youtube video?

You do a YouTube search for the video you want. Click on that video. Once the video is playing click on the address bar. It will give you the option to copy. Click on copy then exit YouTube. Next go to the forum thread you want click Reply. When you see your curser click on it then select “paste”

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Cool. Thank you.

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