Was thinking this morning how simple and spiritually together I was before my illness hit. Alot of times I wish I was still that girl/woman I was before sz. I remember feeling whole, and confident, I loved myself. Nowadays I live with paranoia about everything…its getting better. My social skills are really bad after 6 years of untreated psychosis. I have no friends except for 2 of my neighbors. I feel like I’m on my first day at school and have to relearn how people are and how the world operates because I’ve been MIA for so long. I feel like I’m younger now than I was 10 years ago. I feel robbed and like I’m starting life all over, brand new arena, and i have alot of work to do i guess. But looking back to 10 years ago (my “older” self) so awesome! And I’m very thankful for those good years where I was just intune. At peace. I’d like to build myself back up to be on that level again if popossible.
I wonder if anybody else has felt this way…or maybe someone who’s overcome this, and if so how.
Bob Dylan’s song (mostly just that line although all the lyrics are great in that song) popped into head this morning and I was like “that’s it!”