I don’t consider this a delusion or anything. But I don’t have a great quality of life. Yes, I have graduated college and all and hope to find a good job. But I have no friends at all. People don’t take me seriously, I’m overweight, a virgin, never had a serious relationship, and still live with my mom. Most of the time I feel very unattractive. I always tell myself if I make it to age 40, I’m gonna kill myself because I don’t want to get old. There will be nothing to live for, family members will be dead. Am I wrong for thinking this?
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You’re wrong for thinking this. I’m 50 and would love to live till I’m 90.
Do you have any brothers or sisters ? How well do you get along with them?
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You sound chemically depressed. I’m 37 and in a similar boat but feel pretty fine. I owe it to a good multivitamin. When I run out I start getting depressed.
Low B vitamins are associated with depression even.
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Hopefully you will find something to live for other than your family. Life is hard but you can find things that interest you. Once you get older. You worry about death more and wish you had more time.
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I have half siblings on my father’s side, barely know them…
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If you haven’t tried depression medicine I say give it a go. Either you’re still depressed because it was your life all along, and its a natural bummed mood (maybe you’re not on the right drug) or your not because your brain’s balance has been tipped off and depression is very common for onset of schizophrenia.
Probably just in a depressed state. I think you’ll find that once you treat depression even the struggle of getting better is exciting.
I can’t wait till I find the right girl, get in the right situation and just have a connection I can make grow.
My day is wide open so I can practice many hobbies at my own pace, and while I might not have money for everything at once, I can plan and take comfort in reaching goals and milestones.
This year I got more social interaction in one month then I did in three years previously. I have agency again.
I know what is ■■■■■■■ with me for once in my life, I am confident I know wtf my deal is and I’ve got the help of my family to finally manage and move on.
You can find out a lot about how resilient you are still, and FIGHT for improvements. I ■■■■■■■ took 2 years of drugs and dosages that at one point had me going near blind and fainting, puking, but I ■■■■■■■ struggled through, and found a drug that works and got my best shot at normalcy. Now I just have to re learn writing, and I can meaningfully contribute as an author to people and if I can’t shake it, then I’ll have practiced a skill that is cognitively engaging and I will have fought off mental decline.
Even now I’m struggling with a depression med messing with my stomach I will not stop until I’ve done my best to find the right drug for me.
Never stop searching never stop optimizing never give up.
Medicine isn’t pretty isn’t perfect and won’t leave you un ■■■■■■ with. Deal with it, struggle against it, make decisions that are hard, decisions like “can I handle this?” “Am I willing to put up with this?”
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@Sheryl is right. The older you get the MORE older you want to get.
Whatever you do, don’t let the disease win.
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It’s never too late to learn to live.
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Same here. I’m sixty-one years old, and I’m hoping to live to 80 - 85, as long as I can still function even a little. I’m afraid I might get Alzheimer’s and be out of it in my final years. That would be the only thing that would make me want my life cut short.
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That’s one of the reasons I stopped trying suicide, my family, you have one! I nearly died 4 times from suicide. I am sure your parents wants you alive. Mine cried when Drs told them I nearly died from liver intoxication in the emergency. I would be dead if my parents didn’t come home and forced me to go to the emergency after they saw me vomiting red pills.
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There’s plenty to live for, you just have to find it.
IDK. I’m nothing special but I have many good moments. It’s rare to feel good all day and my neighbors suck eggs but l have many moments of not only clarity in my mind, but peace of mind too. And I’m over-the-hill, lol!
One worry I had as it dawned on me how old I actually am (59) is that any excitement in life would be over. I like a little drama. But it isn’t true, life gets interesting still. I want to be left alone but I relish when some over confident punk expects me to cower or give up but instead I hold my own. It’s almost ecstasy. I still got to get my butt in gear and find better stuff to do but the pandemic is getting in the way.
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Idk most of the time I feel like my life isn’t even worth living or that I’m not needed.
Idk, I always tell my psychiatrist I’m fine but maybe I might have Major Depressive disorder or something. I don’t like attention on me but I’m starting to get discouraged.
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Yes my dear @Butterfly23 you’re feeling a bit low and you are a bit too young to have a clear grasp of it all of what it will be like living with Schizophrenia until and through old age. Hey! I’m 65 going on 66 in a few months and life is good. Dear @butterfly… It not about what you have done but it’s really about what you will do if presented with an opportunity to do your best. Will you return love when loved? Will you support others when supported? Will you be kind and open your heart when you hear the need? Just you stepping up and questioning yourself demonstrates you insight is active and you are searching for a way to find completeness, to fulfill your needs. If you want to find love in your life and if you keep yourself open to it’s possibilities you will find it. Just remember always that you have to keep yourself safe first.
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think of the people that u love,find a hobby,do voluntering.hope and dreams is a powerfull tool that your mind should always utilise.
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life is always worth living
I’ve always felt like this from when I was a 13 year old to now. I just don’t really see a future with me in it being successful and independent and I suppose that’s the root of the thought. Even now I can’t see how I can afford to live when my parents die, so even if I lived another 20 to 30 years - the thought remains relevant.
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@Butterfly23, life is worth living. Try taking an antidepressant and making new friends. You can go to activities others go to like www.meetup.com It has activities you can join based on your interests. You can also join a clubhouse for the mentally ill https://clubhouse-intl.org/what-we-do/what-clubhouses-do/
They do activities etc and you can make friends there. It takes time and effort to make friends but once you do, you’ll feel better
Hi @StarCrazy I feel the same way; however I don’t feel like I’ll have a problem with being successful. My mom and I are going our separate ways later on this year or next but it’s the fact that I’ll have no one after she passes away… I have other family but we are not as close some are older, some younger. This illness is gonna be the death of me someday.
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