I’m having a bit of trouble with the new roommate. He’s not as bad as I first thought, just a little annoying. But we have a difference of opinion about the living room of our apartment. And I want you guys opinion on this.
We share a small apartment that is supported housing. A mental health agency rents it to us and we pay our rent to them and a counselor comes by once every three weeks to check in on us and discuss any problems. The problem is that the roommate wants to store stuff in the living room. We have a small table in the living room that he keeps vegetables and kitchen appliances on top. Below it he has one of those big plastic bins you store in garages or storage rooms.
I have a set of shelves in the living room my sister gave me. It’s three shelves, it stands about 4 1/2 feet high. He stores bags of food, laundry detergent and other bags filled with stuff on the shelves. The problem is I don’t think the living room should be used for storage. I think it should be a normal living room with art on the walls and maybe candles or a small statue or other art on the tables. He disagrees. He said himself that he’s not picky.
He moved in four months ago and I lived there five years before he moved in. I knew it was going to be trouble. I kept everything clean and neat and he moved in and puts a bright yellow toaster on the kitchen table. He sticks bowls and plastic containers every which way in the cupboards. He keeps a purple cutting board on the counter. I’m sorry but the guy has no taste or sense of aesthetics. He doesn’t have a set of anything. Everything is different bright, garish colors of odd stuff he bought off Amazon. He honestly has no taste.
We have rails in the shower to hang wash clothes on. I put a nice wash rag on there and he hangs some junky looking huge rag on there instead of a wash rag. This stuff just bugs me because I have to look at it every day. I don’t think it’s asking a lot to have a normal living room. I think he’s incapable of buying a set of anything. Everything in the living room, bathroom and kitchen is one of a kind stuff that doesn’t “go with” anything else in the apartment.
What do you guys think about this situation? Should I just keep my mouth shut and let him set out weird objects and use the living room as storage? Or should I stick to my guns and try to have a halfway normal apartment? What are your thoughts on this?
I’m a concilliator so I’d bring it up as subtley as possible but I’d be having a chat about what annoys you. It has been a while since I’ve lived in share housing but there’s always things that annoy you and others will say the same about your habits.
I don’t think it unreasonable to keep the common areas neat and tidy and I guess I’d start with that and see how you go with things.
I’d start with the living room. He shouldn’t be storing stuff on your shelves to begin with. Storing veggies and kitchen appliances in the living room is not reasonable. You’re not going to have any luck with the colour of his appliances and such, but perhaps it can be agreed on that appliances are stored out of sight when not in use?
Unfortunately you have to share the space and compromise on use of areas that are communal to you both
That said he needs to respect your needs as much as you need to his
I would suggest if you have room to get new shelving, then move all his shite onto it so it’s tidy - then tell him how great it looks all nicely put away!
Velociraptor and Joker already said what I was going to.
I don’t think you’re unreasonable at all. I would be the same in your shoes.
For me, I can’t abide clutter, so your situation would affect my mental health and stability.
If you have the opportunity, I would address it with the counselor, outside of your joint meetings, and ask for advice. Perhaps he can make suggestions to your roommate without it coming directly from you.
I agree that your roommate should not be using your shelves. I would already be feeling boundary violations with all the clutter, mismatched or not, but if he actually invaded my things, it would make it truly horrendous.
I’m sorry you’re going through this. I think your concerns are all valid, though you can’t control the mix of his random items. If you can even get resolution in the living room, that’s a good start!
I think when living communal you need some rules to go by. Especially when people have unnormal habits. If you didn’t have some from before maybe you can talk to the counsellor about making some ground rules.
I went to war with a living room storage hoarding roommate. Lets just say it took a combined effort with the landlord and other roommates to get him to move out lol.
He was a terrible roommate that i had no idea id be living with as he moved up from downstairs when the original roommate moved out right when i arrived.
Yes. I also think it would be helpful after the counselor speaks to each of you individually, that you have a talk with the counselor together. She can help mediate.
Two basic types of people- neat and tidy vs. messy. I grew up with extremely tidy and have lived with extremely messy for 18 years now. I will probably never get over being annoyed by my provider’s packrat-messy ways, but she is such a dear, I love her anyway.