I think dad is developing dementia

A couple of years ago he got cancer but that was fortunately removed but since then not immediately but progressively you can see he doesn’t wAnt to do anything. We’re all getting frustrated with him. I suggested seeing a doctor but my brother said do not even mention that again because seeing a doctor will make him worse because it will make it official he has something. So we’re all especially my mum have become annoyed with him because all he does is sleep. I said you can’t get any worse than this if you see someone about it. But I can’t even tell him to see someone. I’m scared.

Yeah , your right Ish , he needs to see a doctor. The scientific view is that , even with dementia , the outcomes are better if you engage with clinical services. You may laugh at that , I too find it a bit odd , since the condition is progressive , BUT there’s a lot more to dementia , e.g. general preparedness , and conditioning around that. Basically to put structure and process around that. There are also pharmacological responses that may help as well.

Also your father sounds depressed.


Does that make sense to you?

Be grateful. Most family members of dementia patients would be.


But if it makes you feel better, you can looking to all the excellent stuff at the first link below, and get a copy of the book at the second. It is hands down The Bible for those who deal with late life dementia issues.


I think first of all there needs to be a diagnosis, than we can discuss it. It’s the same with every illness, the truth is we need to accept the diagnosis whatever it is.

You described very little, but it can be a sign of stress or depression. My mom started showing signs and it was “just” depression, a simple ad is suficient.

Go to a doctor and then we can discuss the other parts of the issue.


Are you 100% sure? Because if the depression is essentially cognitive (which is far more often the case in geriatric patients), no AD will touch the cause, and the upshot of putting a geri pt on an AD for more than about four months (if that long) may be worse than the symptoms.

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Well I guess it depends on the person. For my mom it was enough, she still has a lot of memory issues, but she always been forgetfull even on a young age

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Indeed. As well as the diagnostician. Many primary care GPs would do exactly what you suggested. Many of them will make a nice mess if they do. And not just for the patient.

BTW, the #1 cause of “depression” in most late life geri pts is malnutrition and low blood sugar. One does blood work before rx-ing for sure.


He’s 47 years of age

take him to counseller or doc…

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try getting some Huperzine A, I’ve been reading that low levels of acetycholine causes dementia, and acetycholinerase inhibitors are prescribed, but that one is available OTC.

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That doesn’t sound like dementia if that’s the only thing you notice.

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Take him to a doctor, but it sounds like depression to me.

Depression is quite common in middle aged/older populations.

He may need to be on an antidepressant of some sort - Best of luck @anon80629714.

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I hope your dad will get better. I will keep him in my prayers.

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@notmoses Can correct me on this if I am wrong but I thought EOD was more likely to have a heritable component to it ie it tends to run in families.

Hi, @anon80629714, it is scary when your parent becomes a stranger. My dad has dementia. It was hard for me to accept the gravity and reality of it for a long time. I have 6 siblings and am grateful now that my oldest brother brought my dad in for MRI and testing so we know exactly what we’re dealing with. I had thought it would make it worse, but it gets worse all on its own. Having a doctor tell my dad that he can’t drive anymore and that he needs extra help was sad but true. Yesterday was the first time that when I called my dad he wasn’t sure who I was. It’s heartbreaking and scary and frustrating. I feel for you. All you can do is be as pro-active and supportive as possible. God bless your dad :heart:

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My bad. I saw the word “dementia” and lost my balance. (Way too late last night for me to be responding.) At 47, he needs an MD workup. Not second-hand opinions from any of us, myself included. Clinical depression is a possibility. But it can come from so many different causal directions. Slam-dunking anti-D’s might or might not work.

(Just finished reading a new article on a type of depression caused by nerve inflammation that may respond to cheap meds like Motrin or Alleve, for example. It’s all over the block.)

Does he abuse alcohol or drugs, btw? Does he get manic from time to time? Is he having problems at work? Marital problems? Severe stress?

cc: @Minnii

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My understanding as well, but the correlation %ages I have seen run the gamut from “a little higher than the general population” to “way higher than the general population.” So who knows for sure? One this that is noticeable when other family members are interviewed is noticeable skew throughout the family towards credulity, irrationality, odd beliefs and other forms of unusual – but often culturally accepted – sort of “low grade delusionality.” Maybe folks who read the National Enquirer and/or believe those documentaries on alien ancestors, for example.

He might lose his job soon but then I don’t understand what the problem is he’s not too far off from being retired. I’ve never seen him manic. The workload is just becoming too much at home he misses bills too. This is out of character. He doest touch drink never has. Same goes for smoking. I meant he is 57 not 47

I don’t think it’s dementia. But if you’re all as a family worried, then ask him to see a doctor for a checkup.

Tell him that you’re all worried and he needs to go for the sake of everybody else in the family.

But yeah, definitely bad logic/advice from your brother as @notmoses pointed out.

Ooo. Might be the classic “aged out of my job” deal, then. What does he do? There are a lot of people who facing this at his age as technology has outrun the educations of 25 and 30 years ago. (Happened to me years ago; had to be re-educated in my 40s and 50s.) But, like I said, the best practice here is to get him to a psychologist-and-psychopharmacologist team that can determine the cause(s) with a high degree of accuracy. And then, as a result, get him the best treatment for his particular version of depression.