Schizophrenia.com

I still like her but

Idk I had only seen a few pictures of this girl. And I asked for another pic. And she sent the pic. And she looks a bit older than I thought she looked. Maybe it’s shallow but… I definitely wanna be friends with her I really do like her. But I dunno if I wanna be lovers w/ her. Maybe we can be friends. Maybe we can’t. Maybe we can tho… we have a lot of common interests and I woke up this morning sent her a text. She’s really a sweetheart but I’m getting second thoughts on other types of feelings. What would u do. Maybe I can give it a chance. Or maybe she’d understand if I just wanna be friends.

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Woke up real depressed but I’m getting better again.

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How old is she? I’m sorry you’re depressed. Is there something you can treat yourself to to help you feel better?

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I’m shallow too so completely understand.

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Shes 39. She looked around ~32 in her first pics she sent and I thought she looked real young and good for her age which I value I guess in looks since I’m young looking too for some reason. I’m feeling better now I’m drinking coffee.

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You’re 29, right? She’s probably too old for you anyway. Although some big age gap relationships work really well.

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Thanks @Pianogal. I am 29. Just woke up feeling trapped and hopeless tho like I’ll never meet anyone And was depressed about the situation. Like I’m gonna end up hurting her now… But now I’ve consoled myself telling I can be friends with her I feel better about that. I think she’ll understand.

I’m not opposed completely to 10 years or less age differences but maybe she’s at another place in life. Thanks for being a good friend @Pianogal

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When it comes to romantic relationships I think there must be a sexual attraction for me. I’m not a sapiosexual or anything like that…I’m just your typical shallow sex fiending man. Maybe I like sex too much.

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Well, even if she can’t be friends you’re doing the right thing letting her know you just don’t feel chemistry even though you like her as a friend. If the attraction isn’t there, it simply won’t work.
P.S. thanks for calling me a good friend :slight_smile: You’re a good friend too

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i think you should guard yourself and not develop any romantic feelings towards these women till you meet them. your impressions might be totally different than online. keep an open mind.

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Give her a chance!

You don’t know how happy you can be, just because there’s a 10 year gap it doesn’t mean that she can’t make you happy.
Imagine if it was you 10 years older than her, I bet most people won’t oppose to that, there’s a lot of prejudice just because of the age…

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I’m giving her a chance. Thanks @Lenny. I had a shallow fit/second guessing myself but I think I could possibly forgive it all and no ones perfect. I didn’t say anything negative to her were talking as normal still. I feel less pressure at least, it’s gonna be ok :ok_hand:

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Kind of hard to judge looks on one bad picture. She may have just been in a bad light or at a bad angle. You probably shouldn’t make any commitment to yourself or her about a relationship until you actually meet in person and see if there’s chemistry. I mean, she could be pretty as heck, but just not spark with you. She could be average, but have strong chemistry. I don’t think it’s really possible to know if you’re attracted to someone until you actually meet them and talk for a while.

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I agree completely @ninjastar also she wasn’t smiling but I’m not gonna make too much judgment till I actually meet her.

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I definitely think it’s a good idea to hold out for someone you truly like. But if you hold out too much you might miss a chance at happiness altogether. You aren’t exactly the perfect partner yourself and if I were in her shoes, I’d say she sounds pretty accepting. Good luck to you!

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I think it is more important to find someone that accepts you and your situation rather than be too picky and get caught up in something superficial like that .

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No such thing as a “perfect partner” probably lol but I’m not THAT bad I don’t think.

@Gratitude. Perhaps just meet her in person and see how things develop. Try not to put too much pressure on the meeting though since it’s possible that either you or she could decide you’re not feeling it.

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That’s what I’m planning on. I just wanted some perspective thanks. I’m a little quick to rush to judgement it’s a flaw of mine greatly. But I’m feeling better about starting as friends going from there.

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I can’t really tell without knowing you for a while but on here you seem nice. There’s a lot of things that make a good partner like passion, acceptance, intelligence, cultural background and upbringing, and how easy they are to get along with. You have good qualities which make you an attractive partner. But you come with a lot of painful things like having a major illness and someone needs to accept your situation on top of who you are and that takes a lot of love.

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