I really hate life

Doc diagnosed me with schizophrenia. I feel as if my life is over and I’ll never get better. I used to be able to do so much before this I’llness hit me. I hate it I’d honestly rather be dead then live the way i live now. There is nothing to be grateful for when you can even do simple tasks.and to think people who were absolutely discustingly horrible to me are still walking around smiling makes me sick. They should be as miserable as I am. Have nothing and everything they loved stripped from them. Honestly i wish curses did exist so i could make their lives a living nightmare like they have done me. They have tormented me from the inside out so much so that I cannot sleep.i feel depressed every day. I literally have nothing going for me. I was always ugly but now I’m totally useless also. The only thing I had going for me was my art and I wasnt the best at that either. But at least I could get enjoyment from it now I barely manage to enjoy anything just mindlessly scrolling through my phone every day. I dont enjoy nothing I’m fed up of seeing other peoples lifes and how perfect they are from mine I’m fed up of reading the news about horrible people this was what got me sick in the first place .Cant even concentrate on anything either. Every day im at work i’m reminded about how slow I am even though I try my hardest I’m just too effing tired to do anything. I effing resent my parents for bringing me in to this world I hate them entirely aswell .everyday I’m asking myself what kind of life is this?

My life quality took a big hit too, but I was in jail for part of it so I learned what it’s like to have absolutely nothing. I didn’t even have underwear for 5 months because I was too out of my mind to understand how the commissary worked. Now I view every day I’m out like I get to be king, with a nice TV and computer and good food. I can’t really work a job any more with the voices though, it is far too distracting.

I’m sorry you’re feeling like crap but it does get slightly better over time, at least for me it did. I started having problems 6 years ago and I’ve recovered a lot since then. I don’t think I’ll ever be where I was before but I’m no longer suicidal. Are you on an antipsychotic? It took me like a year plus of trying different ones until I found one that worked for me but I think it’s something every schizophrenic has to go through if they want to feel better.

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Yeah I’m on aripriprasole I think this medication is playing mind tricks with me because I dont feel right on it but I’m worried that if I go on anything else I womt be able to work I dont know what to do? Thank you for you input

I relate to your first post greatly. I feel like a hollow shell of my former self.

To be honest I have only found a temporary fix. That is to accept myself as I am and compare myself to who I was yesterday. It is a difficult road, but one you can work on.

I wish you the best of luck.

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My sz will cycle where it’ll be really bad for 5ish years, then I’ll catch a break for a bit, then I’ll cycle back into it. Right now I’m just beginning to cycle into it again. Meds aren’t working very well, sleep is erratic, and life seems grim and hopeless. I understand how you basically feel like your life is a curse. I feel that way more often than not myself. I don’t know what to say other than keep looking forward to tomorrow - it might be better than today was.

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Yeah I completely get where you are coming from I just think of it as “life is just different now” what really helped me was to be thankful for the things I do have in this world some people don’t even have food or a roof over their heads

Maybe you could work with your pdoc on medications. That can make a BIG difference.

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