It’s been the same bullcrap, her getting high, disrespecting, causing drama. Me trying to give nothing so she’ll hit rock bottom, her going down and down and me just marveling at the depth of the thing.
The police showed up with her night before last, looking for a place for her and some of her stuff. Said I was the last stop or she was getting kicked out at the bus station. I took her in. She was high and she started in with the delusions and negativity. I said if you are going to be here I don’t want to hear it. Keep it positive. So she adjusted herself and the night went ok. She stayed up all night of course, I don’t usually sleep much, but it was even less because I just didn’t feel safe doing so.
In the morning she got weird, like tweekers do, and we started to fight because I had told her she had to go and start looking for someplace else to be. Well it ended up with law enforcement involved. The chief of police has taken particular interest in us, and if he’s on duty, he’s the one to come. And before the situation was handled he had to come out twice.
But, things happened as they did for a reason, I suppose, because as my daughter, who had been trespassed, was across the street screaming that I was a cu*t, a druggie friend of hers happened by in a truck and they picked her up and that ultimately led to my daughter getting transportation out of town.
We all have been praying that she just leave because our efforts to get her to rehab or treatment have been totally unsuccessful, and we don’t want her around her kids, or us for that matter.
So, she came back last night and grabbed a bunch of her stuff, gave me a hug and said some rude stuff, and hopefully she will find her way wherever it is she’s going.
I feel for your daughter. It sounds like she’s in a world of pain with no coping skills and without any safe and healthy connections.
I wish trauma-informed care were the standard because so much of the “treatment” we receive feels more punitive than healing — i.e. “what is wrong with you?” versus “what happened to you?” In my mind it’s no wonder people just try to make it on their own. People self-medicate because it works. At least in the short term…
Al Anon is a program that many people find helpful, if that interests you. While the purpose of Al Anon isn’t to get the user to stop using, the family situation is bound to improve. Anyway, you’re not really supposed to push these programs on other people so I’ll just leave it at that.
Thank you for your reply and your compassion toward my daughter. I know I must sound harsh toward her in my post as if I don’t care and have no compassion for her plight. I’ve had to set that all aside now, she is truly on her own in her fight except that she has half my heart and soul to take with her. I need to keep the other half here for my other child.
I remember, if you are in an airplane and the gas masks drop from the cieling, then attach yours first before seeing to any children you are responsible for. You need to look after yourself first so you can be there for others.
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