Hi, my name is Emma, I came here 2 years ago thinking I might possibly be schizophrenic. Well, I still don’t quite know. I have been searching for something to believe in since God is out of the question. I have so many questions and I need answers so these past years that is what I have been searching for, however I don’t know if I should. A few days ago I had a strange and very scary experience. I was in my class and I began scribbling “the answer to life” on my paper, putting stupid quotes that were popping into my head onto a piece of paper, and to me I was finally realizing what life is, but after this happened, or rather while it was happening, I began to drift away from all of my feelings and all of my thoughts.The rest of the day I started to get more and more scared thinking I would never return back to reality, I knew exactly what this feeling was even though I had never experienced it and had no idea the meaning of the word, but I know that what I experienced was psychosis. I tried to snap out of it by watching some youtube videos to change my train of thought, or scroll through social media, but I couldn’t. I wonder if all this happens because I’m such a loner at school and I have all this time to think and my mind gets carried away, but I also wonder if I’m God or if I am superior to everyone else and I can do anything, and I wonder if I’m just crazy. I think I am going even more crazy because I can’t relate to anyone right now with all these thoughts, and I can’t find a single person that is different like me which makes me feel so alone like I’m crazy. There’s so much more I want to tell you but I have a stomach ache, my mom will probably come check on me right now, and I’m super tired so I plan on posting way more topics, please tell me I’m not alone and if you know anything about what happened to me please help.
Hey, welcome back! If you’re looking for folks who are different, you’ve come to the right place. Have you been able to find your way back to reality yet? When that happens, I like to practice deep breathing exercises. I breathe in through my nose for five seconds, then out through my mouth for ten seconds. When that becomes easy, I add one second on to each breath. I focus on nothing except breathing in and out. Have you ever tried a grounding technique like that?
That sounds like Depersonalization or Derealization. I’ve had it since I was about six years old. It feels like a dream or like you are in a strange alternate reality. It used to make me cry a lot.
Dream? Alternate reality? I don’t know exactly what that feels like but I just researched “depersonalization” that might be it, like I said I want to post more because I didn’t really get into detail here.
I actually don’t know if I have been in reality or not, I don’t know if I’m sane or not, that’s the problem. I just know I don’t feel the same as I used to a few days ago, I think I am still somewhere else. And thanks for the advice, I’ll give that a try.
@sirBoring was just joking around. He’s the incurable flirt of the forums. But he could stand to be a bit more respectful so he doesn’t scare away the new people.
My first psychoses were a lot like what youndescribed. It’s possible that you could have those symptoms amd still not end up becoming schizophrenic. Many people experience the beginning of schizophrenia but never fully cross over.
You have returned Emma! You’re back to yourself, and the episcopal church welcomes you! We want the best for you all around and hope for your best at all times. We want the best for you in every way and it’s coming your way! Now if you need to move just contact me about room mate living and let’s hope for the best Emma!
I agree with this, it does sound more like derealization to me. Are you under a great deal of stress or have you ever experienced trauma? Either or both can cause it.
An important part of the puzzle is your age, sz tends to manifest itself at a certain time in life. That was one of the things which helped my diagnosis along. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but if you are in your late teens early 20s you might get sz in the future.
