I think what I have is actually personality disorder. To be specific, Paranoid Personality Disorder along with my already diagnosed Avoidant personality disorder. I have other problems, namely anxiety and depression that are helped with medication, but I don’t believe I’m schizo. Some of the stories I hear here, I don’t relate to, the voices, hallucinations, mania or delusions of grandeur. I do have disorganized thoughts, and sometimes don’t bother or have trouble organizing information, but think that could be attributed to mediocre intelligence or just bad organizational habits?
In recent years I’ve been reluctant to play doctor with myself (in the sense of diagnosing myself), but after some digging this seems like a personality disorder that came about from the environment in which I grew up, more than something that just came up out of nowhere from genetics. My brother has emotional/mental problems, but other than that, we don’t have a history of mental illness in my family. So it’s starting to look more and more like I have a personality disorder
I hate telling doctors that I disagree with their analysis, dealing with the eye-rolling and so forth, although I understand where they’re coming from. The medication does help with paranoia, so I’ll probably take it as long as my situation remains the same.