i am going to die here if i do not do something soon.I live in an assisted living facility, i have a great boyfriend, but i am 44, he is 58.He feels like we should die together here, and i feel like i have some life left, don’t I? He has diabetes, high blood pressure and cholesterol, and he weighs 300 pounds and he does not take care of himself health wise.
Yes, I also have health some serious health prpblems, but as long as i take my meds, i can live on my own.
He just does not understand that i amnot happy here because if anything happened to him and we moved out together, where does that leave me? stuck paying all the bills with only my little check, moving where i have no idea. I am not happy here, i am too young to live the rest of my life like a little old lady.I can never find another man because of all the cuts up and down my arms, and i walk with a limp, sometimes with a cane, who in their right mind is going to want used trash like me. The more i think about it the more i get depressed. I would not say i am ugly, i am a bit overweight but i am working on that, but once a man sees my arms, they are going to run. that is just the way it goes. I am destined to die here, huh?
You shouldn’t call yourself things like “used trash”. That’s a mean thing to do to yourself. Your rational for staying in assisted living is sound. I’m 56 years old. I’m male, and I’m living in assisted living. I too have compelling reasons to stay in assisted living. To tell you the truth, I enjoy living like an elderly person. I get into the simple pleasures - going to town, a good meal, Youtube on the internet, etc. For me, that’s the only way to live.
I have all these illnesses your boyfriend has plus few others, but I like to view the life positively and live as long as possible. Many of my friends have died, but this has not prevented me from living the life. Be positive.
You should do the right thing for yourself. You`re only 44!
You never know what will happen in life. Take care of yourself and everything else will follow!
Thank you @bridgecomet, it means a lot to me for the support. I am really struggling with this because like I said, I am only 44, I did not come here to die here, and that is what it seems like people are doing around me.
I can live on my own, and I do not know what resources are there for me to be self sufficient. I know in my heart I am not happy here anymore, despite my love for my boyfriend, whom I love dearly, I feel in my heart that it is time to move on. Surely there has to be some sort of living arrangements for people like me that are high functioning? I asked about it yrs ago, and was told the waiting lists were very long, and that was the end of that. So now I am stuck between a rock and a hard place I suppose.
I have observed many couples being supportive of one another. I have seen women who limp have supportive, loving husbands. I have read online those who have past scars from cutting having strong, healthy relationships. This means other individuals who care about you will not hold things against you.
If you haven’t your name added to those long lists, you can add it. Until an opening is available, you should be able to come and go at your (living assistance) residence just as you would from any other residence.
I have a long history with ex-cutters. My longest serious relationship was with an ex cutter and I’m telling you I never noticed her scars after a while! Wasn’t so much a denial thing more a love conquers all thing. It’s just a part of your past. Cosmetic surgery’s also come a long way and may help if you’d like to look at that area.
Was also a thought…Would something like couples therapy help renew the spark in your relationship?