Thankyou Sekso 
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He just proved he IS that kind of guy. You have no sense of perspective right now because you think he is a typical, fairly nice man. But he isn’t. Ask nearly any guy here. If they asked a girl for sex and the girl said “no, I don’t really want to” they might be disappointed. They might be sad about it. They might feel hurt and rejected. But they would NOT want the girl to suck it up and have sex with them anyways. Because having sex with someone who isn’t enthusiastically into it is just gross and disgusting and would make them feel even worse than being rejected. This guy proved he has no consideration for you or what you want. He lied about bringing you money, because he knew if he got you face to face, he could pressure you into giving him an orgasm.
It is scary to think of yourself as a rape victim. I spent years denying that was what happened to me, because I couldn’t face the thought of feeling so helpless. My therapist helped. Instead of victim, she would refer to me as a rape survivor. That was a bit easier to wrap my head around. You survived what happened. You will get through it. But you need support and help right now. In the US, rape survivors can call the RAINN hotline to get connected with free counseling services for up to a year. You might have something similar in the UK. I will look it up for you.
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Whatever the legal definition of rape is where you live, you were taken advantage of sexually by someone you were scared of, someone who abused your trust, and who ignored your rejections and your feelings about the situation.
It’s a horrible thing to do to someone by any standard. I’m really sorry that happened to you. It’s awful and no one should have to experience that.
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It’s still exploitation if you don’t benefit from anything…
Anyways going back to your ex doesn’t sound like a good idea
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I mean about the money, he really did mean it when he said he now was going to get a better job he showed me proof, so would try his best to pay me back bit by bit. But yea thankyou @Ninjastar, you are totally right I need to talk about this to someone on a helpline as long as it’s anonymous. That’s really an amazing idea… I’m sorry you had a rough time yourself but glad you are able to get help with therapy 
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Unless you desperately need the money, I would just resign yourself to never seeing it again. Or else take him to small claims court. You should not have direct contact with this individual anymore.
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Yea, I would not get back with him.
And yea I guess maybe you are right that it is exploitation but I consented 
it is not funny but totally crazy sounding.
Yea, I told him to keep the money.
Even if it is not rape in the UK, I’M sure they’ll listen to me. And have an opinion. And further advice.
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I’m so terribly sorry. When I was taken advantage of it took me a while to realize how messed up it was, and that it fell under the legal definition of rape. I just want to be clear, consenting out of fear isn’t consent. You were scared of this guy harassing you until you gave in. He is a predator.
This isn’t even a matter of a guy being pushy, this is full on coercion in many countries’ legal definitions.
Please call the helpline. Get some people in your corner so you can get some help making this creep leave you alone for good.
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I’m so sorry that you were taken advantage of.
I’m so sorry @anon83141956. And @CoCo … I’ve been there too with my ex way back in the day… I haven’t talked about it in years
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So he didn’t pay you in the end. But he might try to use the outstanding debt to manipulate you in the future. Please consider getting the police involved at the first sign of trouble. Even if you don’t initially have enough ‘proof’ to secure a successful prosecution in court, you will be leaving a trail of evidence that could prove decisive later on.
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I’m so sorry to hear that this has happened to you too Twialine.
Let’s all hope for a brighter future.
He done this to me more than once too. I feel uncomfortable to explain why I allowed it to happen on a public forum.
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@anon83141956 I get it… Feel free to pm me any time day or night to talk in here for you… We all are
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Thanks for the advice
But honestly, I think it’s a not a good idea.
Which is very difficult for me to explain. But I promise there’s a reasonable explanation.
But thanks
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But @NotSeksoEmpirico I honestly believe that he will leave me alone now.
Cos I explained about the anxiety in a very serious way.
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