Hello. I went today to see the MD I was getting my meds from to get refills. He’s been giving me a hard time about the Ativan for 2 years, and I was only asking for it every 3-5 months. He gave me presrciptions, but gave me my walking papers when I told him I had a hard time in June and blew through my Ativan. He told me to find another provider. I didn’t even tell him I had a horrid episode in June. So now I’m going to try another MD I see and ask if she’ll at least give me the Invega before I go back to the first physician to appeal.
I can buy Ativan on the street, and my buddy can sell me his extras. I started in college, took a class in June, and it stressed me out. I was going to start in the fall term too with another algebra class just to get up to college math level. It was math that stressed me out before, I couldn’t deal with the homework. The episode was horrid. I was manic with severe anxiety, visual, tactile, and auditory hallucinations, reverse placebo effect with the Ativan, and a phony feeling of alcohol intoxication one morning. I blew through some of my stash of Invega taking 6 mg/day vs 3mg.
I still have 7 bottles on hand and 2 of Ativan, but still feel like my future is severely threatened. I can’t go back to my old psychiatrist, I’d rather just have an MD to write out the scripts. I’m educated, I know my needs. Still have prescriptions for 4 more bottles of Invega, and one more Ativan, but I’m adrift, up the creek with a rotted out paddle.
It took a month for the medication to take effect and stop all the bullspit. Then I cut it back down. Still struggle with overstimulation and anxiety. Thought about switching back to Zyprexa, but Zyprexa doesn’t control my psychotic symptoms as well as Invega so I’m afraid to do it plus the side effects were worse for me. SIGH! Running to the alcohol tonight. I can burn the last of my serotonin bottles too although they’re expensive and hard to get.
Another reason I don’t want to go on Zyprexa. It’s a serotonin antagonist! Crap.