It’s 5am, I haven’t slept, but I’m not tired. I know I should sleep but I can’t. The horrible depression is lifting, I feel a bit emotional but that’s no wonder as I found out a close family member only has weeks to live. So I’m really upset about that, but upset and not upset at the same time. Yesterday I cried for ages, but today I feel separated from the emotion. I’m a bit wired from lack of sleep and in a strange mind state that I can’t define. I’m upset but can’t feel it, wired from lack of sleep but can’t sleep, don’t feel particularly good either, not like hypomania or anything, just really mixed up and can’t explain how I feel. This is really odd… I know something isn’t right I just don’t know what 
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Are u in the uk…???
just lay down and close your eyes and turn on a fan or something to listen to like that while you just lay very still and clear your mind and just listen to the fan…puts me to sleep like a charm.
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Yeah, I am, it’s daylight now!
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My mind feels like a washing machine! But yeah, white noise of some sort is very soothing.
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Take rest man …its too early to wake up…just go to sleep…
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Hey turquoise u look pretty…!!!
Wish I could… there’s not much to do at this time except browse the internet. I did try to sleep.
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Thank you 
I look like a crazy person right now though!
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No offence meant to anyone by the way, I just caught sight of myself in the mirror and I look strange, wide eyed and pale and a bit see through.
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I kinda feel like there is no physical boundary between me and everything else, I look as though my edges are blurred into the space around me.
And there’s a pigeon cooing right outside the window…
Maybe you can have someone take you to ER? @Ninjastar shouldn’t she seek help what do you think?
I’m ok, I don’t need to go to hospital, I’m just feeling a bit weird , I’m not going to do anything stupid, just feeling really strange, but thanks for your concern jukebox, I reckon it just because I haven’t slept and my mind is opening up to things, I’m listening to music.
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are you sure…? believe me you are real…you have a body…pinch yourself…you are real.
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I know I’m real, just my boundaries are a bit blurred, there’s light between me and everything so my atoms get a bit disturbed where me meets my surroundings, I know that sounds odd but it’s ok, I know it’s not normal but I’m not disintegrating, I can feel my body , the music helps, I can feel it too.
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Frank Zappa’s Watermelon in Easter Hay… one of my favourite songs ever, beautiful piece of music and kinda says how I feel as well, perfectly actually, also I am a bit freaked out now because there was a tiny dead beetle in my ashtray and now it isn’t there so I really hope it didn’t stick to the end of my cigarette that’s a horrible thought, eeeechh… I might get up an go for an early morning walk in the fields while there’s no one around, and write a nice letter to my aunt. I will avoid the mirror.
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R u taking your meds, if your on any? I know I hate taking mine. But it sounds similar to when I started slipping
Summer does some strange things to me, with exacerbating symptoms. Maybe that has something to do with it. Sleep is post important and is definately a sign that something is off if you can’t sleep right. Lack of sleep will also increase the symptoms you feel.
As for what they are related to I don’t know. Could be mixed states bipolar, sz maybe, could just be high anxiety.
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Keep stress to a minimum.
Don’t think too much!
Combine these two and serve with toast in the morning!
Rogue1’s cure for summer madness!
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