It’s my birthday the 28th. I’ll be 30 years old. I feel like I’m gonna get suicided around then. I’m usually living in a state of fear and it’s particularly bad around bdays. My handlers might just say they’ve seen enough. I’m afraid they might kill me.
On the bright side I started Adderall. It has allowed me to focus and gain motivation. I think it’s a miracle drug. It should be researched more for negatives. The problem is I guess it’s addictive.
I’m currently looking for employment. I have two applications out. I’m going to send more out soon. The problem is it’s such a drag filling out applications. I don’t have any references and my employment history is sporadic. It’s about this time in filling out applications that I wish I stayed in touch with people.
I know if I had stayed in touch I could get amazing references from past employers and professors. One prof who was retiring even told me I was her favorite student ever. I always ask questions and participate in discussions. That’s why a lot of prof like me. I’ve also got a mixed bag when it comes to employment references. Some would go to bat for me others not so much. I’m unfortunately a slacker. It sucks that I’m not a hard worker. I want nothing more than to be a hard worker.
Anywho… I hope all of you are having amazing days. You all deserve it. We are warriors.