I feel like something bad is going to happen

It’s my birthday the 28th. I’ll be 30 years old. I feel like I’m gonna get suicided around then. I’m usually living in a state of fear and it’s particularly bad around bdays. My handlers might just say they’ve seen enough. I’m afraid they might kill me.

On the bright side I started Adderall. It has allowed me to focus and gain motivation. I think it’s a miracle drug. It should be researched more for negatives. The problem is I guess it’s addictive.

I’m currently looking for employment. I have two applications out. I’m going to send more out soon. The problem is it’s such a drag filling out applications. I don’t have any references and my employment history is sporadic. It’s about this time in filling out applications that I wish I stayed in touch with people.

I know if I had stayed in touch I could get amazing references from past employers and professors. One prof who was retiring even told me I was her favorite student ever. I always ask questions and participate in discussions. That’s why a lot of prof like me. I’ve also got a mixed bag when it comes to employment references. Some would go to bat for me others not so much. I’m unfortunately a slacker. It sucks that I’m not a hard worker. I want nothing more than to be a hard worker.

Anywho… I hope all of you are having amazing days. You all deserve it. We are warriors.


You’ll be fine. The fears are all in your head.

Keep on truckin’.

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Are you psychic at all? Could you give me a reading on what my future holds? It can be through dm if you prefer.

Not at all.

I get synchronicities and things but I can’t read anyone’s future. I just know that in general things will work out if we stay out of obvious risks, like traffic and drugs and such.

But the best predictor of the future is past behavior, so maybe look at that.

Maybe I’ll miss the point of your worries OP but in all honesty that if things go well for me for too long I begin to expect bad things to happen. Ya know: car repairs, health issues, family problems, and other things. It’s more my practice of Stoicism as to why I think this way but anywho.

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