I’ve been experiencing Parkinson type or neurological type symptoms which have been gradually getting worse since October. I also have raised prolactin. I have been on chlorpromazine since I was 20 so 4 years. I have had fluctuations of stability but I’ve not ever been in full remission, I have symptoms which get worse with stress.
But I have nearly finished a degree, I’ve started a training in a career and I do some small bits of work here and there. I feel I’ve come so far but nothing drastic as I still get crippled by symptoms which will stop me functioning as I’m sure many of you know what that is like.
But now I have been put into a difficult situation, my physical symptoms are affecting my every day life, and it’s all new, the only issue I had before was photosensitivity. I have tremors, my gait is unsteady, I feel drunk all the time despite not touching alcohol, and I’m exhausted. This causes difficulty to the career I’m pursuing (acupuncture), I love the training but I can’t go into practice even though that is three years away, i do practical sessions but my ability to cope is suffering.
But reducing my medication will inevitably be hard, I have relied on it and its the best medication I’ve been on until now, they want me to go onto Clozaril this is the main drug of choice as I’ve tried four AP’s now. But I have to go through the reduction, then initiation, and I’m terrified of losing everything, I’ve said I’m not starting until my degree is finished, but my career training could be deferred by six months as I could be too much of a mess or sedated as I don’t know how I’m going to react.
I’m also scared of the voices getting worse, and being lost in terror, I am terrified of losing all the clarity I have to an extent now. This feels like my pivotal moment, it could go either way in my recovery, i could go on clozaril and all will be resolved for the first time in ten years or it could send everything up in the air and I’ll take ages to kick back.
I wanted to come off all medication but my cpn talked me out of it. I just wanted to se what I was like, I’ve not been off medication since becoming unwell and I just wanted to try. Im afraid I don’t know what I want out of this post, I would appreciate any experience with coming off medication like how you coped and starting/staying on clozaril. I would also appreciate any kind words if there is any going… I don’t have much faith in my own body and mind right now.
Thank you in advance for reading, I hope your day has let you cope as best as is possible, take care,