as a human being. can’t do anything beautifully. was born with a huge IQ and now feel slow and average. I just feel so much not what I wanted to be, not only not what I wanted to achieve.
some of us, like elyn saks rise above the sz and make themselves into huge huge successes. I wish I could at least some of it.
my sz has turned me inside out and backwards in a bad way. sometimes I manage to actually love myself as I am, but right now and when I think about where I really am at, I don’t.
Quite well. Now that spring is just around the corner, I feel better. I’ve another winter under my belt.
Life is a matter of 2 steps forward and 1 backward. Things done in “puny” steps at a time are dependable.
u know if i didn’t suffer from migraine for half the month every month then i would get a lot more done. this month i have gone completely backwards and spent the last two weeks in bed, today is the first day i got up and had a nice long soak in the bath and had dinner with my dad. i think i’ve finally found some medication fir the migraines that works. it’s early days as i only started it a couple of days ago but i’m hopeful judging by today. i’m hopeful that i can get back on track with the housework and taking the dogs to the woods every day like i did last month. the voices come and go hourly but that’s ok, i can cope with them. it’s just being physically ill that floors me. my motivation isn’t brilliant at the best of times and is either all or nothing in fits and spurts. to tell u the truth judy, i feel robbed by what’s happened to me over the years. completely and utterly shafted. so i know how u feel. hugs xxx
Judy, I hope you feel better. The other times I’ve talked to you,… You have been kicking this in the butt…
I look up to Elyn Saks,… but her cards feel in a different order and she had a path that was different from mine. So can’t let her success make me feel like I’m a no hope. She has done more then people with NO mental illness. She’s just got something inside the put her on the path to where she got to.
I sometimes feel like I’m managing two me’s.
I know I’m not going to be rich or amazing but I’m going to get better.
I sort of have an idea of what I want to present myself as…
That is how I would LIKE to be thought of. That is the outside that I’m trying to project.
But the inside…
I guess if I can find the middle between the chaos and the calm…
Hi - I feel inadequate as well. I worked very hard - but was attacked at crucial stages in my life. The evil people who attacked me have no insight into what they did to me. They don’t care. Its themselves always.
I know they feeling. I feel completely cut off from the inspirations and drive I used to know. I used to be a creative thinker ready to take on the problems of the world, now I’ve stagnated as a schizophrenic and it doesn’t feel to good. I used to want to invent things and I had a lot of ideas now it remains a blank canvas. I want to escape myself and the torment that has fallen upon me, but I have no inspiration. I just have to live day to day and try to build a positive future a process that is slow and at times painful.
sucess is realtive tho isnt it marylin monroe was a very sucessful actress but she felt like the lonliest woman on the planet i think what counts is the peiople you love around you tc
