When I first got diagnosed I was scared of what I might do. I told my wife to go stay with here parents. I was terrified of people with sz. And found myself being one. I thought no one would ever hire me because I would never hire anyone with sz . Even when I came to this site I found myself a little uneasy about who I would be communicating with and if I would send someone into a rage. Well it turns out I had pretty well bought into the Hollywood stigma. I’ve just got to say you people are ok in my book despite the sz. I think you all have helped me overcome the stigma i had
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When they told me I had paranoid schizophrenia. I said “What’s that?”
I manufactured my own stigma but am finally glad I now know there is a name for what I have.
I was just batsh*t crazy and didn’t know it. It’s nice there are places like this we can support one another. But in the beginning I would have been to paranoid to post.
I will never forget the first time I posted I wanted to delete my post but didn’t and I went back later to delete it and the delete option wasn’t there anymore. I thought the government removed the option. It was part of my paranoia.
But now I know you can only edit your post for a short period of time and then the edit option goes away. Wish I would have read that in the forum guidelines. That really poured fuel on the fire at the time.
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When I first started working at the pharmacy I would get a little uneasy with the patients who were on APs. I mean, I had been on and off APs for twelve years at that point, and I am a very calm and rational person, but somehow I still was afraid I was going to set one of them off. So yeah, I can relate.
Hell, one of our sweetest patients has sza, or at least seems to based on her med profile. She is always so nice and understanding if the tech who processes her Latuda forgets to split bill it with the manufacturer coupon, though it is a quick fix when that happens. Some of our other patients who are not even on psych meds would go off if their meds weren’t originally billed correctly.
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when i first got diagnosed, i thought paranoid schizophrenia meant that i had a particular fear that would make me act paranoid.
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my mom got diagnosed with schizophrenia before I did by a couple of years, and when I read about it online it sounded like people with schizophrenia are violent towards those closest to them, so I’m ashamed to admit I was afraid of my mother because she had it. I got especially scared because she had always screamed at the family a lot, but with the onset of the illness she started becoming more and more unpredictable and I pretty much lost it when I found out she left a knife under the pillow. I asked her about it years later and she said that she just did that because she was opening mail. I’ve also been struggling with having schizophrenia, thinking that it meant that I would never be able to finish a bachelor’s degree or earn enough money to support myself.
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I can relate my brother got sz when I was a teen and I was scared of him. I really kinda felt he should have been locked up. I was young and foolish. If meds work for you you can still be productive don’t give up. I’m doing well have a family , good job,and have acquired marketable skills.
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