I don't want to work sometimes

The anxiety seems to get the better of me and I don’t know how many more times I can try and fail before I give up

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Have you tried to rationalize your anxiety? What is it that makes you so scared? Human interaction? The risk of failing to fullfil your tasks? Or something else?

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When I am off meds,I find more calm and purpose to fight and continue work.When on meds,I get too anxious and sleepy to work

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Human interaction… I have struggled constantly and have no idea how to get out of this rut… The bullying at school was so bad I had no way out until I was legally allowed to leave… since then I have quit so many jobs I cannot even count. I feel that people hate me, secretly talking about me like I am back at school. I cannot get out of it.

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Most kids grow out of that tendency to pick on others, at least in my experiences. I had a lot of great coworkers right after high school and before college. I guess it might depend on the field though.

Oh I’m sorry you went through that. I wasn’t bullied much as a kid. It happened occasionally but I don’t think it’s got anything to do with my illness now.
Have you considered working from home? Like, fully remote?

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Me neither but I do it.

I always wanted but couldn’t work since I was diagnosed sz 9 years ago.

Well, from time to time I have a lot of anxiety.

Part of the AA Wisdom is as follows: Move a muscle, change a thought.

When I have anxiety, I ask what I can change.

Of course, the time-tested solution is I talk to one of my brothers and he gets me to laugh.

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I quit my job because anxiety was through the roof.

I am now on Pregabalin which seems to make it bearable, but it’s still there.

Days I don’t want to work, I just have to fight through the feeling of despair and eventually I can focus on it

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Relax, I’ve had about 30 jobs since 1978. I quit or got fired from most of them after 3 months. I just go out and get new ones. Sometimes things click and I’ve been at a couple jobs a total of four years, a couple more for three years. At some of them I was the worst worker, some the best. But the past is the past and it doesn’t mean things will always be the same. Hell, I’ve been at my current janitor job for 7 years. Before this job I worked at a department store for three years and ended up getting fired. That’s the breaks, that’s how life works: it’s random. Just keep trying, 3 or 4 months at a job is better than nothing. Maybe to stay employed you need an easier, simpler job. No shame in that, honest labour is respectable. “Don’t quit ten minutes before the miracle happens.”

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