Schizophrenia.com

I don't know what to do?

#1

I haven’t been able to visit the forum for some time, I literally don’t have time to do anything for myself, it’s because I got a new job, I found my self happy at first that I this job since I was jobless for few months and it’s hard to find a job here, but the job is so hard, I don’t have a personal life anymore, I can’t even do anything for myself, I have to be working for 12 hours, I lost the ability to peruse my dreams, and do my research…The problem is that I’m financially broke, and I can’t afford to quit…I feel miserable, the job is stressing me out, and I have no life, on the bad days I go freaking delusional and think that there’s a conspiracy against me to kick me out, or that my colleagues at work are laughing at me or making jokes, the good thing is that I don’t have time to have psychotic episodes or paranoia lol …I don’t know what to do, I’m not a quitter, and I don’t have the ability to quit, I simply can’t say I quit my job, and I can’t afford the frustration and depression that comes afterwards, that I failed in this job, but this is not what I want really, what should I do? should I quit or keep on going with this job…?

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#2

I read this earlier and since I’m stupid about money I asked my kid sis who isn’t stupid about money. If your broke… you need money. But it’s always easier to get a job when you have a job. So nothing can keep you from looking or submitting your resume to something you like more.

Her idea was look at the finances maybe find a financial planner and decide at what point you could get your head above water and put a little in savings and let it grow.

(I take our resources in this city for granted. But libraries have been running “Women and money” classes. Many men will keep women hostage with money. So these classes are free and give women some knowledge and a financial exit plan. Hopefully you can find a weekend class for free.)

Then when you reach that point, start looking for something you like better and if you do have to quit you’re not hurting financially.

That’s just our odd ideas… Good luck and I hope you get to find something else really soon.

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#3

I think that this is one tough situation. Are you completely psychotic from the stress or just experiencing some symptoms “flaring up”? If you get completely psychotic, I mean like screaming in the corner, you wont be able to work, so that’s a nope. However, needing the money is a solid premise to keep at it…I used to be psychotic (but self medicating with alcohol) and I still made a 3.5. It was worth it, I took the summer off and got on meds and my life slowly improved. I went back that fall and made a 3.96. I kept trial and error with medication and in the middle of the fall I found the perfect regiment and became symptom-free.

I suggest maybe less hours. You sound like you are distressed, and distress is sometimes the path to a psychotic episode, and that’s the worst thing that can happen. I’ve been apeshit before and I didn’t like it. My parents didn’t like it either. Having reality completely break down in is my worst fear, it’s happened to me before and I know that nothing is worth having it happen again.

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#4

there is no such thing as failure in my book, ’ failure ’ is just the ’ accumulation of wisdom '.
look at your finances , but if you are unhappy or stressed because of a job and said job does not fulfill you, then you should leave.
i have quit jobs for these reasons and felt better for it, life is about quality, not how big the bank balance is.
a buddhist monk has nothing but they are happy .
find a job that you can still have a personal life, is still fulfilling, but maybe less money.
take care
p.s SurprisedJ and his side kick little sis are wise in what they are saying.

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#5

i think you might be better part timex

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#6

No shame in quitting. Maybe you could find an easier job to pay the bills. But I am like you, I rarely quit one job to take another. It may not be the smartest strategy though. I work AND collect SSDI. Quitting a job that is driving you crazy is not failure, it is just a setback and it may be the smartest option.

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#7

It took me a good year to appreciate my job but 12 hours a day is a lot to ask from anyone.

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#8

Only you really can answer it alex. I feel for you!! You could look at your financial situation and think of ways to cut costs??? I couldn’t make ends meet on my own. I moved in with a parent and things are much better now. yes It takes a way a lot of your freedom but it’s better than struggling pay check to pay check too. Good luck in figuring it out. If you don’t think it’s going to improve I think you should though find something else.

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#9

I don’t know, sometimes it feels like we are in a prison made of paper and there is nothing we can really do.

This earth is no joke, it’s horrible in my opinion, and i fuqing hate it all, i mean it really sucks and i wouldn’t have done this had i not been forced to.

Let us pray that apophis crashes into my oh so unholy household to set me free.

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#10

@SurprisedJ, you and your lovely sis think exactly as I do, thank you for sharing that.
@mortimermouse, actually the stress that is caused by the nature and the long hours of the job, it makes me go crazy, and most of all I turn bipolar, and that is harder than schizophrenia in my own point of view.
@darksith, @77nick77 I’m glad to hear those words, I like to think that there’s no such thing as failure, I need to hear that quitting is not related to failure…
@dandydinmot, well I am really thinking about the part time option, if it was available.

thank you all for your great ideas…and sharing what you think about my situation, I think I will give my self some time to figure out if I can really survive in this job, at least until I finish my first month, then I would have to take a decision, whether to stay or to switch to part time if possible…Because my job really drives me crazy, or could it be the stress of a new job !!!

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#11

in my opinion, i would not do something that i didnt enjoy, i tried it once and look where it got me,

i would suggest talking to your doctor and looking at all your options, also maybe look at the job centre to see if there is anything better that you would enjoy ‘you never know’

don’t look at it as quiting look at it as progressing, you are more important than your job, your mental health is more important and if you put yourself under a lot of stress and pressure it is not good, so if you stop hopefully your stress levels will come down and you wont feel as bad.

idk where you live but maybe you could get some government assistance and they could support you just until you get back on your feet again because they shouldnt leave you hungry or homeless.

i hope you can find a solution anyway, take care x

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#12

@twinkit ya you might be right on that, but I have a feeling that I won’t survive in this job for a year.
@runnergirl thank you, I live with my parents too, I just feel that I can improve our live by working…
@pansdisease I do hate this life on earth too, I know that it’s a unpleasant place to be…but what can we do about it, except trying to get the best of it if we can.

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#13

I do agree on that, my mental health is more important than any job…Actually I did get some help from institutions, but being financially independent is much more better than relying on such help, that’s why I feel bad for wanting to quit. Thank u @daydreamer

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#14

Anything new that you have to jump into with both feet is stressful and scary. I hope you get your footing and learn the ropes and then the stress goes away.

Preserving your health is very important. It’s not a failure to quit at all. But is there someone you can as on the job about the learning curve or the requirements of the job? If they say… Oh yeah, every one goes through a hard first month and then it lightens up,… or if they say… It gets more busy from here… That might help your decision.

But for me… it was work or be homeless. Since I never ever want to be homeless again, I just pushed myself and uped my meds and suffered through for a bit. Then it got easier and true there were some really rough days. But every time was ready to give up, I’d call around and find all the group homes were full and no one could take me.

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#15

Thank you J, I hope this stress washes away, and after listening to all of the precious suggestions, I have decided to push my self a little harder and see if I can take it, I’m not sure what to do if it didn’t work out, but I can hope for the best.
Thank you all again for your valuable advises, they were very helpful; @SurprisedJ, @mortimermouse, @darksith, @dandydinmot, @77nick77, @twinkit, @runnergirl, @pansdisease, @daydreamer.

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#16

I think that you should look for another job whilst you are in this one. I’m sorry you feel this way :frowning:

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#17

Why don’t you tell us a little about your job. Then, maybe, we can give you more specific advice on how to deal with it. New IS stressful. I remember my first week of college, I was ready to bite heads off.

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#18

How was work today? What do you do? Are you having problems with symptoms while at work?

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#19

Thanks for asking, OK…at the beginning I found the job as hard as hell, but I think I’m growing to learn how to easily get accustomed to it, it’s a little better now, just a little, and I don’t know if it’s going to be okay in the upcoming days, it was going up and down until now, the job is teaching English, and this is new to me, I had anxiety and intimidated by big numbered classes, big classes can be intimidating to anyone…
And about the symptoms, there aren’t any for the last few days, I just get enough of sleep and everything goes fine…if I stay up late at night; I start to crumble down very easily lol I’m vulnerable more than ever, but I’m careful so it’s going pretty fine. At work I’m holding on to my sanity for now, I had times where I wanted to get up and leave…but I suppressed those feelings, I’m glad I had.
I think that if someone got used to his/her job then everything is going to be fine, or I hope this would apply on my situation…I’m not sure that I can prepare my studies to get to college but I’ll see what I can do about that.
thank you @twinkit

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#20

I think you are doing very well. It takes a lot of strength not to get up and walk way. I had no idea you were public speaking. I know I talk worse then I write and next month I have to give a speech on birds and bees in the garden.

Trying not to be terrified.

It’s hard to keep control of everything, but I think you are very strong and doing something I am working up to trying.

:thumbsup:

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