And by sleeping with…I mean sleeping with…sleeping in the same bed…not sex.
And I’ll tell you why.
Whenever I am trying to sleep or am asleep, she will either start talking all of a sudden or touch me or give me a hug or start looking at something on her phone, or whatever. Point is, I never get any sleep.
Often when she wakes me up, 20 mins later she goes to sleep and sleeps soundly and now Im up, left to wander around at ungodly hours in the morning because Im woke up and can’t get back to sleep. Its really quite annoying.
I know she is trying in a lot of areas, but cmon… Its pretty simple…when your in bed to go to sleep and stop talking and your partner starts to drift off, dont every 20 mins think of something to say or rub their arm or whatever.
Let them sleep for God’s sake. It’s just common courtesy.
One day she even woke me up laughing at vidoes on her phone.
I am always as queit as a church mouse if Im in the same room when she is sleeping…
You are used to having your own space for years. This will take adjusting. Maybe invest in a bigger bed. We have a king size and it’s really nice. Also communication is key. Tell her what you need. You aren’t being selfish. Just expressing your needs. It will take time to get used to sharing your space. It’s all about compromise really.
Mr. Star and I have separate rooms for nights when one of us is having insomnia. As someone who tends to talk right before sleep, I can tell you, it is NOT as simple to stop as it seems. For me, it comes from nervousness/insecurity. Sometimes, I can tell he’s mad about something. But he says he isn’t mad, either because he doesn’t realize he is mad, or because he’s mad about something he doesn’t want to talk about. I can tell he’s definitely mad, so I assume he must be mad at ME. Then I lie awake overthinking, and try to do things to fix the problem. I’ll try to start a conversation, or snuggle him, or whatever. His reactions tell me he is even more upset, so I try even HARDER to make it better. And it becomes a loop. Even when I am aware I’m in the loop, I can’t always stop it. That’s what the spare bedroom is for.
Usually the thing he is actually upset about is totally unrelated to me. He’s learned to let me know that, so it interrupts the cycle. Instead of “I’m fine, I’m just tired,” he will say “I’m stressed about the bad traffic on the drive home today.” And then I can actually relax. IDK if she is similar to me in this way, but I could imagine her being nervous about the upcoming wedding.
Me and my partner have hardly shared the bed in the last 2 years. Not cos we don’t want to. It’s just the kids
Qwertle was co-sleeping for the longest time. And now baby is. So my partner ends up on the sofa half way through the middle of the night.
I think you are used to having been sleeping alone. That’s ok.
My parents are now 80 ish. They got separate beds in separate rooms about 15 years ago. At first I was mildly appalled but then now that I’ve been married for almost 17 years I think, “Is it too soon for me to want that, too???” I must be old. Hahaha
There’s this pillow that hubby doesn’t find necessary on the bed at a specific point. And he expresses that by throwing it across the room in his sleep. It hits me often when he is tossing it. I’ve offered to give the pillow a proper funeral, but no. He needs it when he’s reading. Life is confusing and troubling.
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