People are always talking to me and being friendly and asking me to go out to coffee or a movie and stuff. This happens at work and at home. It’s very cool and flattering but I keep turning them down. I’m just in the process of trying to figure things out and I don’t want to want to throw myself out there quite yet. At this point, with my history of “friend dynamics” a friendship with either sex would stifle me and set me backwards and take away my power and everything I’ve been working hard for the past year.
I am working on being a good friend but at the same time I want to have a little equality, power, and control in the friendship which was sorely lacking in almost any friendship I’ve ever had.
At the same time I am trying to not take people for granted or the offers I used the word “a million” but that’s a big exaggeration. It just happens every month or so. I actually do have a partial friend who I talk to. It’s my first friend in a while and I enjoy his company. And i guess I am kind of friends with some people at work. Hell, I’ve been working with one guy for three years now and he always invites me out to coffee or to go take a hike. (I mean that in a good way, lol) . The guy has seen me stressed and a little rude and he knows part of my story but he still is friendly and likes me. I even get the feeling that some women like me and that they are interested in me ( not romantically) (but who knows?).
Heck, if the San Francisco 49’rs can win four Superbowls then anything is possible, right?