I could be doing better today (or tonight - I am a night owl). I went over to my brothers today. They were asking me about my illness. They still don’t really know what is wrong with me. I told my brother again a half a year ago. I am sza bi-polar. I emailed him and included some links to the NAMI descriptions half a year ago. Maybe my brother brought it up because my Sister in law was there also and he wanted her to here it. I got a bit paranoid as I was leaving because they had a cooler that had had food stored in it outside and it got all chewed up. My sister in law said it was a possum because they have big claws and big teeth. I think she might have been talking about me. Maybe she is trying to send me a message like I’m just playing possum and there is nothing wrong with me. I just want to die. I got so depressed when I left there. I took my full PRN of Haldol tonight - 6 mg in addition to my monthly injection. Think about taking a Klonopin but I don’t know if that will help with this paranoia and depression. It says on the bottle for anxiety. My pdoc also lets me take some if I am having a very hard time sleeping.
Sorry to hear you had a bad night. I think it’s possible that the possums did chew up the cooler and I doubt she was referring to you at all. Paranoia can be a huge thing to deal with. I know because i feel that way a lot, reading into what people are saying when there’s nothing necessarily there. I hope you are able to calm down and get some rest. You are in my prayers. (PS- I like the term “playing possum”. I am from South Carolina and grew up hearing that expression. You must be a southerner, too. I am thinking.)