I hope you feel better mongolina. Pixel and 77nick77, both of you are an inspiration for recovery. I needed to read something like that today.
I have only been sick a year and a half. I still struggle with accepting that I am mentally ill and that my delusion isn’t real. I have had suicidal thoughts but if I hang in there, the next day is slightly better. I’m sorry you are feeling bummed. I feel you.
For me it’s only been about 6 months and I still find it hard to believe what has happened, and i think about death often, not seeing the point in living any more
I was a zombie for the first couple of years. It can and usually does get better! One of the best moments in my recovery was tracking down a doctor who had told me I had no prospect of meaningful recovery and sending him a gift. What was the gift? A print copy of a U.K. magazine featuring my extreme weather photography and a picture of my family and a note: “Please remember me the next time you tell someone with schizophrenia there is no hope. There is always hope unless someone steals yours. Respectfully, S.M.”
I remember what it was like 6 months in. That was a year ago for me. I genuinely believed all this shyt was going to stop at any minute. It was all a big (not funny) joke. Like you, I have to listen to all the people with tenure on here who are in a better situation and have hope because of that. I’m doing my homework today and thinking 'this is F**king ridiculous! When do I get my ‘real’ life? I still struggle daily. I don’t have it all wrapped up neatly, yet, but I am in it with you. You’re not alone.
There IS hope if you actively look and seek solutions for your own recovery. My son died from suicide because he had no hope. He had paranoid sz and didn’t think it would ever get better or ever could. He lacked hope. Myself, I have sza, and I have hope. I actively did the internet research to discover all the coping skills that I could put to work in my favor to help myself. Things like proper nutrition, daily exercise, music and/or art therapy, religion, prayer, twice daily meditation, reading, foam rolling, socialization, volunteering, pet therapy, adequate sleep at night, ayurvedic health practices daily and natural nootropic cognitive enhancing drugs. All these things work and they work extremely well in supporting full recovery in combination with conventional anti psychotic meds. I highly recommend this course of action.
Thank you very much for being that supportive! I really do appreciate that!
You’re most welcome! God bless.
I am also on three different atypical anti psychotic meds and an SSRI antidepressant. Don’t be afraid to ask your pdoc for two or even three AP’s if one doesn’t do the job. That’s what I had to do. I’m also on an injectable. They seem to work better than the oral pills.
Hey @mongolina please don’t give up. There is hope. You will have better days.
I struggle with this too, I often think I would be making life so much easier for those I leave behind. I struggle with the diagnosis too. Only I’m a little in reverse to you, at firts I was accepting then now I don’t believe it.
You know why? Because I’m getting better. I’m taking my meds everyday. I’m back at work, and I’m living independently with my partner. I still have "hallucinations " and live with very strong "delusions " that can dictate my behaviour (almost caused a major car accident recently). But I’ve learned to live with them.
You will too. I believe in this. I’m on your side in the road to recovery. Everyone here is.
You need to stop focussing on the bigger picture and focus on baby steps. Be positive about the future, life can and will get better if you set tiny goals for recovery. Make your first goal to make it to your next psychiatrist appointment.
Keep a journal. Write down every hallucination and delusion and negative symptom and suicidal thought you have in it. And write down a goal for the day like have a shower. And celebrate whe you reach those daily goals. Have some chocolate or something you like to taste in the house for celebrations.
My psychiatrist gave me a grounding technique for when things get overwhelming…
- Rub your feet on the ground or rub your hands together
- Smell something you like, I keep a bottle of patchouli oil with me at all times for this
3.look at a beautiful picture, or pictures you have on your computer
- Taste something, i use a tic tac
- Listen to your favourite music, I listen to jazz
It activates your five senses and brings you back into the moment. Give it a try.
I’ll leave my message for now but I just want to implore you to not give up. Better days are ahead. It’s a rough diagnosis and life to live but you can be strong. Don’t let it dictate your life path, be the master of your own destiny.
Truth be spoken @velociraptor -Sensei.