Yesterday evening/night was horrible.
I had tons of hallucinations.
I just started realising… most of the time I am truly living without symptoms, but I cannot pretend that I don’t have them at all. Yesterday evening was a proof, that I still have psychotic symptoms.
I am hugely sad. I thought I am in remission and that I won’t need meds soon.
Now I realise it’s probably not truth.
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Yeah, I hear ppl still experience positive/negative symptoms while being medicated. My memory ain’t that great, maybe getting older/stresssful situations/medication… psych can’t help!
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Yep I was stressed yesterday… Just it’s really sad. I really thought it’s over - and everytime I am getting hallucinations I understand it will never be over…
Yeah it’s tough but keep on trying. Meds ease the burden but I, for one, still get those breakthroughs if stressed so it’s all about keeping that low. It’s not easy but keep positive. Tomorrow is another day and these little episodes often pass quickly too.
Hang in there and keep trying.
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Really big thanks for being positive @rogueone
All I can say acceptance comes very hard for me. I started realising that probably I will need meds for life… and it seems like the world has stopped for me for a second. Accepting thiw illness comes very hard for me.
I like to think about it that way: what a person really controls in his life is himself. And having this illness, either it’s SZ or something else - makes that control even harder. The only person I truly have in my life, which is by the way me - is sick.
It makes me depressed. I am only thankful for one thing - I am kind of high functioning. But still… never as good functioning as I was before illness
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People experience delusions, depression, anxiety but not for a prolonged period… paranoia as well… but we need treatment until they come with a cure… a cure is what I’m hoping for!
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Yeah it’s hard to accept you need meds for life. But. I’m over 50 so have blood pressure meds. I have cholesterol meds. It all keeps me being well so having to take the psych meds isn’t so bad.
Honestly. I like the new medicated me. I’ve gotten rid of a lot of stuff like racing thoughts with the meds which makes it so much easier to live…
Get rid of the expectation as the Toaists would say and your doing good. Like I don’t compete with normals so I too am high functioning in our community even though I’m on disability and haven’t worked for two decades…
It’s all about perspective anyways so give yourself a break and do what you can to maintain wellness. It’ll work out for you in the end.
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Ive found that stress increases my positives
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Yeah stress can definitely worsen everything even for a ‘normie’, for us it’s even worse…
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Agreed
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Are you taking meds as prescribed?
If I remember well, you recently switched from abilify to vraylar?
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Ofc I am taking meds as prescribed.
I am on vraylar for almost 7 months. 
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I feel ya @anon8411913. Everytime I feel confident enough to publicly celebrate my wellness to my pdoc or on this forum, paranoia or some other psychosis comes along and kicks me in the butt.
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@SkinnyMe and it’s literally depressing!! Whenever we already start feeling better, symptoms crawl back.
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Its confusing to me.
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I thought I was doing alright and then I got another delusion a while back and posted about it yesterday. I feel like an idiot.
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Im not feeling great but i have a pdoc appointment soon
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What can’t you achieve with SZ that you could achieve before SZ? @HyperactiveNectar
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@Dude1 Idk how to explain.
I feel way more unstable in personal relationships. Also, it’s hard for me to get very good grades. I need to put way more effort.
Also I believe my memory and concentration are sometimes really awful…
Overall I am happy that I am way better than I was doing during Psychosis. But still not as good as I was before this illness.
Thanks for asking @Dude1
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I see your situation and what you are going through. I understand.
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