My love in partner decided to post my rats for rehoming without my permission. And when he told me he posted it I immediately said take it down. We had talked over a month ago about possibly rehoming them, but I told him a couple weeks later I didn’t want to yet. Well apparently he “heard the exact opposite” like he ALWAYS SEEMS TO and took it upon himself to post them the day after I told I might be going homeless but I dunno yet and then he tells me oh your oldest rat died last night and I got anxious. Boo ■■■■■■■ hoo . This person is one of the big reasons I might be going homeless and now I don’t know if I can trust them with my animals while I make this transition.
Um. No landlord wants rats in their home, ever. You realize this? We rent two properties and we have no rodent pets in the leases. Only cats or dogs. A rodent gets loose and the repair bill is at least five figures. Keeping the rats will keep you homeless.
I know you don’t want to hear this, but…
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Hmm I’ve had rats for almost ten years and all my landlords have been ok. Never had a rat break loose.
I did not post this to be told I’ll be homeless for keeping my rats. They’ve never kept me from housing before, and I’m going to try to find housing that will accommodate all my needs and if I can’t I will re-home my rats. They are not as important to me as my dogs.
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My current landlord even helps me feed them while I’m away for a couple days .
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I am gobsmacked. It is illegal to import, sell, or keep rats in most of my country.
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What country? I am in the USA, it’s perfectly legal here
Can we get back to the point. Why would anyone try to post their partners pets for rehoming without consulting them first. Like what the ■■■■. Just what I need at this moment of unpredictable future.
It is both legal and common in the US to have pet rats, hamsters, gerbils, and other kinds of rodent. I think most of them don’t even count as pets on the lease.
Back on the point, I would also be furious if I found out someone was trying to rehome my pet. I do think there’s a good chance he genuinely misunderstood, if he told you about the listing, and he didn’t give the pets away behind your back. If he was being malicious, I would also expect him to be sneaky. There is a good chance he heard you say you are potentially going to be homelessness, and thought it was a good idea to put up the listing earlier rather than later. Rats can be trickier to rehome than cats and dogs.
But yeah. I would be very upset.
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I completely think it was a misunderstanding but this is also a common pattern of theirs in various forms along with a complete neglect of finances and bills and lack of communication, and intimacy and attention with my medical needs. I can’t rely on them. They’re neglecting my rats so now I’m hiring a friend to clean cages. I think they lack common sense and empathy.
I tjink they make different value judgments than you, but the common sense and empathy are easy to see in the choices they make, at least from my admittedly narrow window into your life.
Taking your keys away so you can’t drive recklessly when you are feeling impulsive shows empathy. A lack of empathy would be letting you keep the keys to avoid a fight.
Listening to you express fears of being homeless because of financial strain and a potential plan to rehome your rats, when you are paying someone else to take care of them currently, shows common sense and empathy for the rats. A lack of empathy would lead to someone just abandoning them and pretending they ran off.
The others are allowed here, but rats definitely not. We have a large program in my province to keep them out, that’s why we’re the single rat-free province in the country (if you don’t count politicians).
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Oh yeah I’ve seen the rat map! You guys are 100% the odd ones there
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I understand the confusion but the one showing me empathy is Rick my partner In Illinois that I am moving for and the one in Indy was supposed to move with me but has continuously dropped every single ball I’ve tossed them . They drove 4 hours here and I can see they made some effort but they did next to zero planning and didn’t go to a single interview they scheduled. And almost ran out of gas . They just aren’t able to function as the adult partner I’m needing, and not showing a ton of empathy towards me in general. I haven’t had a breakdown around them, I just shut down, and with Rick I am so free to be as messy as I need to be and he just holds me.
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Also the planning of someone to clean cages is all me. They haven’t communicated a single thing about cleaning, feeding, etc. But I know they are mostly likely feeding them minimally.
Oh i see. I totally misunderstood. I thought you were talking about the same person, and currently in the same house as them. I thought you had discussed finances with them as part of the moving process.
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Fair enough it’s a very complicated situation and hard to fully type out without way over explaining everything. I am still polyamorous and have been with Rick for four years, and Curtis for a year and a half. Rick lives in Illinois with his wife and family and now we are engaged to have a handfasting in October and we are both head over heels for each other still. Curtis, I do love for sure, but maybe in a more platonic way than I’ve allowed myself to feel.
Further I have been living with Rick for a month, just by myself while Curtis is at home caring for the animals and house, and I don’t trust it anymore. But I got a job here and Rick is selling a very expensive arcade cabinet to pay for move in fees at an apartment if I can even qualify.
Wait… what?? Say that again. Im confused. Rick is already married, but hes engaged to you?
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Our premier is trying to tip the scales back. That is one HUGE rat if you ask me.
[and that’s enough politics. blah]
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