I’m not experiencing schizophrenic symptoms anymore. The voices I hear are just regular people in the street, after a day of productivity outside I will get euphoric but not delusional and my paranoia is less severe than it has been in the past. I think the meds are working.
I have some fear caused by my neighbor who’s an absolute pain in the ass. Last time I took a shower early cuz I had to print something at the store, and he intercepted me in the hallway and started using his usual aggressive tone to tell me his water supply was cut short. We just took our showers at the same time I suppose. I’m afraid to take my shower early mornings now, and hate seeing him in the lobby. Every night I rant and pray to God that he will move out at the end of the month like he said he would. My belief in God has been shaken by what I’m experiencing with this bully… There always seems to be something not going right in my life. I quit smoking weed cuz I was paranoid to go outside and now that I’m sober I have to live with the same fear caused by him.
Anyways, I guess I have to endure, I just never had any problems with any neighbors but him.
On another front I finished my Photoshop course and handed in my final project. I had applied to a Game Design program at a local College and they’re interviewing me next week. I really wanna make it work. I’ll tell them I’m motivated and if I get it it will keep me busy for the next two years.
I renewed my lease so I’m stuck in this place for another year. I don’t know how I will manage the stress of having a bad-tempered neighbor and going to school full time but the time spent away from home should give me a break.
It’s probably good that you stopped smoking weed. It probably wouldn’t help to be stoned while confronting this jerk neighbor. Excuse me Ekoms if I am a little cynical when you say ALL your symptoms went away. I wish they did but I’ve heard this before from various people and it is rare that they really ALL go away. But I don’t want to rain on your parade, it sounds like you’re doing really good. Congratulations on completing that Photoshop course, I bet it wasn’t easy so you should be proud of yourself for accomplishing that. Anyway, good luck and I hope your neighbor moves.
In all honesty I’m only stuck with delusions of persecution from this man. I should have mentioned I was talking about positive symptoms… Negative symptoms are still here. Hopefully they will get better as I spend more time outside the House. Yeah this dude is a big reason I stopped smoking weed, so there is a blessing in disguise with that whole situation…
Had a whole lot of fun learning new Photoshop tricks, I’d have to register again to get my full certificate and complete levels 3 and 4. Life is hard man, there is always a sense of stability but new problems arise every day. You have to be strong not to crumble under the avalanche…
Huge congratulations on being able to finally stop the weed…
I found that when I didn’t do drugs… my meds started working.
Also congratulations on having some symptoms go away and finding some peace in your mind. Little by little… you’ll get stronger and soon… even if this neighbor doesn’t move out…
Thanks for the words of encouragement Judy and James.
Yes it’s frustrating because his shadow is always present, he’s constantly on my mind lately. I try to be careful in everything I do, like avoiding leaving the place in the middle of the night cuz my alarm makes a beep when I go out, not flushing the toilet too much, not playing the music loud. All kinds of ridiculous stuff that could set him off. As I read before, the guy is occupying space in my head without paying rent.
I hope I can move past that and find tranquility of mind either way as you said SurprisedJ.
I’m kinda mad at a God I’m not certain exists for letting me deal with this issue. I’m polite to everyone I meet, I never get angry, I always give out a cigarette when someone asks me, I’ll give some change to the beggars sometimes. I don’t deserve to be intimated and treated badly by someone who doesn’t even know me. My life is hard enough that I want to feel safe in my home at the least.
Sadly… bullies are takers and that is all they do… take and take and take.
You are a good and kind person… and sadly… bullies see that as an opportunity.
I’m not saying don’t be kind… but staying out of his way… and doing your own thing… ignoring him… that’s usually how I deal with a bully. I’m not confrontational at all.
But I am getting better at not letting bullies get me down…
There are bullies in life, I’m married to one. He had mentally abused me for years
that set off my symptoms I believe.
But now I am getting stronger and resolve to not let his crap interfere with my life.
I have to learn not to let him get to me. Then I am in control, not responding to his bad behavior.
Yes sometimes people change for the worst. I had a similar issue with my ex best friend, he became abusive and manipulative, trying to take advantage of what little I had, and I was complacent for a while. I ignored him and now he leaves me alone. Hopefully it stays that way.
People hide under a mask concealing their true intentions and when they show their true colors it turns ugly. These are the only two people who have really messed with me mentally in recent years…
I wish I could live in a rich neighborhood, people who are successful are usually not that dangerous.
@ekoms, It’s good some of your symptoms went away, my symptoms come in waves. No one should be bullied. My father in law is a bully so i know what it’s like to confront one on a daily basis.
Hells yeah buddy. You deserve the best. Sorry you share water supply with your coinhabitants, sucks to run out of water for anyone. He sounds like a douche, but he’s human too.
Good luck with your school work.
Be prepared to pitch out a few ideas for games if you’ve got any.
You bring a smile to my face @SoitGoes. I already provided a pitch for my portfolio. It was called K-Trix, some kind of GTA MMO hybrid with futuristic weapons and gear.
If I’m accepted and you want to collaborate after or during I graduate we’ll make it happen.
Oh that’s a pitch for a multi-million dollar scale of a game. I’m not aiming that high, maybe a 2D hack’n’slash for PC or portables. We’ll see what I can learn. The good part is they’re teaching entrepeneurship to start your own micro-studio so I might take a company from rags to riches lol. I’ll be a jack of all trades but master of none after it.
Keeping fingers crossed, I really need something to get me outside every day and feel accomplished. Thanks man.
Yeah man that’s how I see it. then its more about learning the process and all of its interrelations. Getting the teams to communicate. It’s a dream job of mine.
If you have some motivation you can look for online courses, I prefer a learning environment for stimulation. If it’s your dream then I really hope you achieve it.
I like to daydream of creating my own game and selling in the hundreds of thousands and having enough to go to Japan and then work on my next project from a nice apartment in a high rise. Oh sweet expectations, but I know it never pans out the way you hope for, life always throws you on your behind and you have to improvise and stand strong again.
