This made me think… and so I had a talk with the people who know me best… (My sis and my parents and Girlfriend) … and they said I’ve seemed not just up… but hyper.
I figured I was just feeling good due to the longer hours of light… or just the fact that things are leveling out on my life. Or a good med mix… or just healing.
But I guess my family on the outside looking in think I’m going a bit manic. Which makes me feel a bit sad since… maybe I’m not hypomanic… maybe I’m just feeling great.
The thing that my sis said she’s been concerned about is the fact that I’m a little faster everyday… I thought being faster and getting more done was a good thing.
I’m trying to reassure my preservation team that I feel great. Things are smooth as silk.
But I do try and keep an open mind… not getting angry like I used to.
I’m now looking at the possibility of hypomanic. Which I have to admit… I don’t think I’ve ever felt before. I know the flavor of manic… it feels like perfectly ripe berries with really good water.
I don’t feel manic… I just feel productive and energized. This feels more like good dark chocolate.
It sad that this brain of mine makes feeling this good something to be weary of.
J, I am not a doctor and I have never seen you - I cannot really judge how you are really doing, but it does sound like a little bit of hypomania.
My hypomania can sneak up on me - but pure hypomania feels great - this is when I am really happy for no good reason, I may be more productive, I am more social etc…
As good as hypomania can make me feel, its not such a good thing for me, because it means tat I am cycling, and this could lead to depression or mixed episodes, which feel horrible.
I would listen to your sis and close family and your gf, to see how you are doing.
Telling your pdoc about these up feelings is a good idea - hypomania leads to depression usually or mania - best of luck to you
The old me would get my nose bent completely out of shape with my family and get really angry that they didn’t understand or were over reacting…
But I do know how 100% horrid I felt in the recent past when I went into a manic phase and it crashed. It was deeper then the negative numb and flatness. It took a long time to pull out of.
So I am trying to keep an open mind with their concerns. I’ll do what I can not to hit that low again. My sis is more concerned with me going full manic again.
Thank you for the insight. I guess what’s throwing me is it feels gradual. Plus I’ve been feeling really good and sharp for the past month. Maybe a hypomanic phase last more then a few days… or weeks?
I find a good marker is when your thought pattern begins to go a bit grandiose.
I’m generally ambitious. But when I hit hypomania I get overly ambitious and a I don’t give a ■■■■ attitude. I call it boss mode lol
The worst thing with hypomania is i usually find any reason I can to excessively spend money
i always thought @SurprisedJ was superman and his kidsister was kickass girl…the awesome duo on another adventure…saving Seatle from the dark masters…and dubious villains !?!
take care
The main thing I now observe to notice to recognize to acknowledge to accept to own to appreciate to understand about my hypomania is that it almost always arrives on the heels of some lengthy period of conscious behavioral suppression or unconscious repression that seems to be driven by the impossibly perfectionistic voices. I get caught up in the “you should be this way or that way” and “you should not be this way or that way” yackathon when my more mindful parts are busy elsewhere, clamp down excessively on my excitement or enthusiasm for music or movies or books or sports or =whatever=, and then “over-restrain” myself. A few days or weeks later, I’m “busting out of prison” and acting out again. Too much, too little, too much, too little. I can see it better now, and maybe as a result jump out of the box a little sooner, but it’s sooooooooo deeply engrained. Borderline & bipolar. Feh.
I may appear hypo manic at times, but at those times, I am on pre workout powders or energy drinks or ■■■■ tons of coffee or a combination of those things.
Believe me, before my “schizo strength” coffee in the morning, I am hardly able to eat my breakfast and feel like I am hundreds of miles away from any sort of slightest bit of mania.
I mean seriously, normal people do what I do on the same drugs. No, not illicit drugs, crap for weightlifters or coffee purposefully brewed to be as strong as possible.
I do have negative symptoms without the caffeine.
I would say that only those who live or work with you can really make the judgment as to whether you are hypo manic. Or a doctor.
from the dark masters…and dubious villains !?! 