Hurting myself to hurt mother

That is immature. I didn’t realize that’s what I did.

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well its in the past now i guess, put it to bed lol

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Not quite as easy as putting it in the past as it became a habit.

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look forward not back is what i’m saying

The past has a way of surfacing, especially to we seniors who have the time to consider it. I don’t think you understand that it is a relief for me to understand myself.

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i think i know what you mean but not to dwell on it, acknowledging it, coming to terms with it is good :slight_smile:

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It was also to punish mother. I was a mean little kid.

Yes - I can see you now…backed into a corner?

Gosh, when I think how much I failed just to punish my mother, I wonder what started that pattern.

It’s probably back there somewhere.

I know what you mean - sifting through all the trash. You know yourself - and aren’t living on the surface.

There’s a thin book - The Lazy Man’s Guide to Enlightment. You might get something from it. I did.

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