Schizophrenia.com

Humilty as a topic at the AA meeting


#1

Humility was the topic at the AA meeting yesterday.

SO i’m sooooooooo humble because I’ve done this and that and this and that and I’m just such a humble person, everything about me is so humble.

I understood why Gautama Siddhartha didn’t actually ever speak…even though there are quotes by him. I understood why Buddhist monks say nothing. Because they are so wise, have so much humility that a vow of silence seems the only viable option to capture their wisdom.

I kept trying to think of things to say but realized no matter what I say would be a way of stroking my own ego. So I just kept quiet. Meanwhile the whole room is very spiritually confused so they need to blab for 10 minutes a piece to help them stay sober. More power to them! But I don’t mind if alcohol kills me. I don’t find life all that great that it’s worth going to an AA meeting and being around people every night, etc… They all talk about how hard their lives are. I’ve heard about 50 people at AA say “When you go to AA you realize that you don’t have the toughest life after all”, but I can’t imagine this trickiness of the mind I’ve calculated, along with schizoaffective making life much worse. The only thing I like is to drink. Everything else sucks. You feel what I’m saying…do you?

AA isn’t worth it to me. I’d rather die young and enjoy it than be schizo-affective til i’m 150 years old. Sorry for making lots of topics tonight.


#2

I suggest you stay in AA, get a sponsor, read the book and vow to never drink again if you are truly an alcoholic. I used to binge drink, it looked like alcoholism but once I got on medication, it stopped, I tapered off and only drank a couple of beers a night, then I just quit drinking for a bit, got drunk once, vowed to never get plastered again, and havent been plastered since. I am going to a bar with some friends tonight, we have a designated driver and I will have less than five drinks, probably three, which is moderate and social. I am not actually an alcoholic, alcoholics can’t just have three drinks, but I do, so I am not an alcoholic. But yeah, I have been in your disposition as to “■■■■ it, Im young, this illness is hell, lets drink!” and it just made my life worse, I was a slave to alcohol and did anything for it to get in my bloodstream.

As for being humble, you aren’t a monk, so I would go ahead and spit it out at AA, you haven’t taken a vow of silence…and I don’t think you should…you should be open and admit to having a problem with alcohol.

I went to AA after a relapse and discovered that I was not an alcoholic, but I think that it is a good place for people who are alcoholics. Alcoholism is serious, I know someone very close to me who has defeated it by being sober for ten years as of today. It can and most likely will ruin your life.

One of my best friends who is has schizophrenia just like I do recently got a DUI and his license suspended for a year. He drank too much. It could have ruined his life if he wasn’t given mercy for the circumstances, which were rather exceptional.

That sounds like you have a serious problem. I would go to AA and get on medication if you aren’t on medication already. It is not that common for an unmedicated schizophrenic/schizoaffective person to behave like an alcoholic, but if you are drinking to make the symptoms stop, I doubt you are actually an alcoholic, having a severe mental illness is what psychologists call a “confound”, a variable which screws everything up, basically. You may very well find that if you get on medication and have a reduction in symptoms that you don’t feel a need to drink out of moderation.

I am very cautious about alcohol- I drink socially and moderately these days and notice an effect on my behavior, I get a little disinhibited after a few drinks, but that is normal.


#3

I am on medication. I was on bad medication earlier this summer and entered a sober house where I’ve been living for 6 months. I think I’m less than a “true alcoholic” but sometimes I get mood swings and I wanna drink, especially when I’m here. If I could drink a 6 pack a week I’d be fine but no drinking at all sucks for me. I can’t do the AA thing. I’m not put on this earth to socialize and be around many people. Idk this post was just a vent and made me feel better.


#4

I can see how sending an unsocial sz, to AA doesn’t make the greatest amount of sense. Drinking - I know nothing about it, but I’d say do what makes you the most comfortable. Also it does make sense that if you are humble you don’t talk about it.


#5

Well, I’m prejudiced FOR AA, CA, and NA because they helped me kick a serious crack addiction in 1990. I can’t say enough good things about them if you ask me. But I understand how hard it is to be in a roomful of people. And though my addiction didn’t start until I was in my late twenties I can still emphasize with young people who do drugs and drink. I smoked a lot of pot in my teens. No one ever told me i needed to stop though it caused me problems. But I’m pretty sure at age 17 or 18 there is nothing that anyone could have told me that would have made me quit. I was young and felt I could handle it and that life at that age is supposed to be all partying and fun. So I see the obstacles to young people quitting drugs. BUT… that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have quit. Or it doesn’t mean it’s impossible to quit. It’s a personal choice to do drugs with a potential consequence of it causing you GREAT trouble or even an addiction ruining your life or your future. I got clean in 1990 and it’s one of the best things I could have done for myself. And a viable substitute to meetings in person, is online meetings.