Schizophrenia.com

I really dont belong in AA

#1

Im not an alcoholic. ive read some of the big book and I was like “what the ■■■■”. Alcoholics feel like ■■■■ sober and get shitfaced non stop. I just dont do that. I can have one or two drinks and stop. I’ve been doing that for a while now, save for that night I drank two beers and took three xanax, that counts as drinking heavily because each xanax doubles the effects of alcohol, so it was like having 16 beers.

But seriously the people there have ■■■■■■ up their lives with alcohol and thats not me at all. They have an “allergy” to alcohol and go nuts and drink everything in sight after one drink. I dont do that!

Im a little too into this. They want me to go to book studies and ■■■■ and im like “why cant I just not drink? why do I have to spend lots of time in a cult?”

My shrink told me that I am not an alcoholic and that he has seen real alcoholics. I might just have to quit going, I feel like I dont belong there. I mean seriously, I am NOT what that book describes as an alcoholic- in fact I am afraid of booze, it makes me hungover and feel funny. I have like one beer a week with friends and it makes me sleepy and thats really it. Like ■■■■ I kind of want one now. But that’s my point- I can have one and not 30 and feel fine…

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#2

I would read the whole book. Especially the stories by alcoholics at the very end. I think it would be helpful and useful to you. It’s not much trouble reading a book considering it’s your future at stake.

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#3

i just drank a hard cider to prove to myself that im not an alky…no trigger…i dont want more ciders…im gonna listen to likin park and go to sleep…im feeling very normal.

what youve got to understand is that effective self medication for schizophrenia is entirely different from being an alcoholic. Thats what my psychologist says.

#4

Yeah, us members of AA or CA or NA tend to get a little gung-ho about the program and want to help ALL alcoholics and addicts. (I know you are not one). But we don’t have any ulterior motives, other then helping fellow addicts or alcoholics helps OUR own sobriety. We’re no Jim Jones or Reverend Moon. AA works for us and we just think it is the greatest thing around. Luckily you are not an alcoholic.

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#5

I have to ask. Since you are doing so good and on the right meds why would you need to self medicate?

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#6

I dont…i have like one beer a week. I just drank out of anxiety and abused xanax with it during finals and thought i was relapsing

#7

Benzos and booze do not mix - can be a lethal combo

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#8

addiction is not being able to go without something many types of alcoholic i am a binge drinker it still affected my life to such a degree i needed to sek help if you think you can drink like a normal person go ahead.

#9

I’d say think of AA like meds… You see it as a cult, I see it as a very valid thing that helped get me sober and starting to accept recovery.

Your Geodon destroyed me and my wheels fell off and I almost landed back in hospital.

My Latuda didn’t do anything for you and you hated it.

You’ve decided your NOT an alcoholic, then cool. Go with that. Use your doc to talk through your cravings.

I’m an alcoholic. One is too much and not enough at the same time. I don’t want to drink because I already know I don’t have the will to stop. There is some compulsive tendency there. I can’t have a cup of coffee, I have to have six.

So I’m working on reigning that in. But I already know that for me?.. One drink is too much.

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#10

Hi @mortimermouse - No one should define you. If you dont think you are an alcoholic then this is more important than what others think of you. If you are going overboard with the booze, and it is interfering with your life, your schoolwork, your social and family life then this could be thought as alcoholism. If you need to drink and not just want a drink casually, then you might b an alcoholic. Dont worry about the definition so much, i do realize there is stigma attached to the word alcoholic. Just cut back on the drinking and Xanax and you should be fine. If you cant cut back or you feel the urge to drink a lot then look at your situation again and do something about it. Dont let the term alcoholic get to you - actions always speak louder than words - If you do not feel comfortable with AA’s approach and dynamic then go with something else, if you choose to do this for yourself - Its your call

#11

My opinion might not be well received. but I absolutely can’t stand twelve step ptograms these days. I do not think addiction is only a disease I feel there is a ton of choice involved DOn’t like the “spiritual” element of it all either I left alanon a long time ago myself. also some statistics show AA is only 10 percent successful in cure and relapse prevention. I won’t go on but I prefer traditional psychotherapy and rehab programs. If you don’t think you are an alcoholic and your doctor says you aren’t maybe you aren’t? desimb

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#12

Thanks @Wave, I dont think AA is right for me. Ive had multiple people tell me the basics that ive already read from the big book, and its just not me. These people have ■■■■■■ up lives and one drink means they lose their ■■■■ and drink till they blackout. Ever since I have been on meds, Ive been drunk only a few times and had a terrible hangover and regretted it. My shrink says I am not an alcoholic and never was, that alcohol is effective self medication for the positive symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia, and that he started the adolescent substance abuse program and the local mental hospital and has seen alcoholics and I am not one.

And AA is a cult. They want everyone to be an alcoholic and to spend lots of time in the program going to meetings and reading that book from the ■■■■■■■ 30’s. I now know that I am NOT an alky and I do not belong in that room. I might go once a week but it causes me anxiety and makes me want to drink for some reason and I dont need that ■■■■.

They’re also stupid religious. Some woman at lunch (some of them go to lunch after meetings) said her antidepressant was making her feel weird so I said “im majoring in behavioral neuroscience and have been on a few antidepressants. Which med is it, how much are you on and how long have you been on it?” and she snapped “I dont wanna talk about it, the Lord will take care of me, I dont need that stuff”

Oh…you’re one of those people…you have an neurological illness and think you can pray it away…oh…

I left lunch early and said “have a good one” to the other paranoid schizophrenic who goes there every day.

It’s great for people who have ■■■■■■ up lives when they drink. I usually have one drink on the weekends and stop there. I dont need all of this ■■■■■■■■ just to not go buy a handle of my fireball whiskey when im legal on June 11th. I just need to not consciously get in the car, drive to the liquor store and start chugging. It’s that ■■■■■■■ simple, it’s like powerlifting, when I hesitate they yell “ARE YOU GONNA LIFT THAT OR NOT?” so Im just gonna not get drunk. I can lift seriously heavy ass weights, I eat a strict diet and hyrdrate and all of that ■■■■, I dont need 12 steps to not drive to the liquor store and buy over a gallon of hard liquor. I just need to not follow the steps it takes to do that, which is grab my keys and wallet, start the car, drive to the liquor store, find my drink off the shelf, buy the big ass bottle, drive home, open the bottle, stick it in my mouth and start suckling like an infant. What is that, 9 steps? I should start a pragmatic alcoholics recovery program with those 9 steps.

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#13

Hey James, what you’re trying to say is, “One is too much, and a thousand is never enough”. Yeah when people criticize AA they call it a cult.You’re not the only one mortimer. But real cults want something from their members; sex, or money,or control etc. All the recovering members of AA, CA, and NA want is to help other addicts and alcoholics get clean and stay clean. Sure, you will have the occasional jerk in there. .Sure not everybody likes 12-step programs. But not everybody liked Kennedy or Reagan or the Beatles either. I guess you can’t please everyone.This isn’t an attack, just another positive side to AA. I don’t want anybody to get turned off or scared off from AA before they even try it. AA’s track record with helping alcoholics speaks for itself.

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#14

Ive heard that its success rate is like 10%…but anyways, its not for me, given that I am not even an alcoholic, i found out.

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#15

Mortimermouse,

that was a funny description of 12 step programs. For the mentally ill, alcohol is self medication for positive symptoms. Your description of drinking a gallon of fireball is right-on. And for some 1 drink is too many because later 100 is never enough.

Oh well, it takes one to know one. You had a good experience, that you are going to pass on rationally. I was told the same thing from my therapist. Our problems are not due to alcohol. They are something else, whatever that may be.

I was in the same boat and it does get easier, Recovery is not always going to be in the foreground and eventually life will take over.

soup

#16

Yes thank you for sharing. If you are not addicted to alcohol then good for you. Not everyone needs AA and there are many people that drink normally (that is not me). I go to AA almost every day. I was drinking heavily for about 5 years and became addicted. I really need those meetings and they have been good for me and a blessing. if you can take alcohol or leave it alone, good for you. just be careful you don’t get into the habit of drinking every day. Anyone can become an alcoholic.