Thanks @Wave, I dont think AA is right for me. Ive had multiple people tell me the basics that ive already read from the big book, and its just not me. These people have ■■■■■■ up lives and one drink means they lose their ■■■■ and drink till they blackout. Ever since I have been on meds, Ive been drunk only a few times and had a terrible hangover and regretted it. My shrink says I am not an alcoholic and never was, that alcohol is effective self medication for the positive symptoms of paranoid schizophrenia, and that he started the adolescent substance abuse program and the local mental hospital and has seen alcoholics and I am not one.
And AA is a cult. They want everyone to be an alcoholic and to spend lots of time in the program going to meetings and reading that book from the ■■■■■■■ 30’s. I now know that I am NOT an alky and I do not belong in that room. I might go once a week but it causes me anxiety and makes me want to drink for some reason and I dont need that ■■■■.
They’re also stupid religious. Some woman at lunch (some of them go to lunch after meetings) said her antidepressant was making her feel weird so I said “im majoring in behavioral neuroscience and have been on a few antidepressants. Which med is it, how much are you on and how long have you been on it?” and she snapped “I dont wanna talk about it, the Lord will take care of me, I dont need that stuff”
Oh…you’re one of those people…you have an neurological illness and think you can pray it away…oh…
I left lunch early and said “have a good one” to the other paranoid schizophrenic who goes there every day.
It’s great for people who have ■■■■■■ up lives when they drink. I usually have one drink on the weekends and stop there. I dont need all of this ■■■■■■■■ just to not go buy a handle of my fireball whiskey when im legal on June 11th. I just need to not consciously get in the car, drive to the liquor store and start chugging. It’s that ■■■■■■■ simple, it’s like powerlifting, when I hesitate they yell “ARE YOU GONNA LIFT THAT OR NOT?” so Im just gonna not get drunk. I can lift seriously heavy ass weights, I eat a strict diet and hyrdrate and all of that ■■■■, I dont need 12 steps to not drive to the liquor store and buy over a gallon of hard liquor. I just need to not follow the steps it takes to do that, which is grab my keys and wallet, start the car, drive to the liquor store, find my drink off the shelf, buy the big ass bottle, drive home, open the bottle, stick it in my mouth and start suckling like an infant. What is that, 9 steps? I should start a pragmatic alcoholics recovery program with those 9 steps.