I’m not in a relationship now, but when I was, I had a marked problem with cynacism and mistrustful thinking. I think this is true even my relationship with my family members. I am introverted and I isolate. Is there any advice anyone can give about loving others. Can you tell if this is a trait of sz or just something I can grow out of? Is this something that will fade when the right person/people com along?
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Hi @ShaniceNavy
Isolating and social withdrawal could be part of the schizophrenic picture, but you can learn to manage.
Meds and therapy can help.
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Love is a choice in my opinion.
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For example I hate affectionate touches it lights my nerve endings on fire I feel physical pain from it Im on meds that seem to lesson it to a degree. I have children and i choose to love them they want to hug and snuggle alot and it hurts me to do so but I choose to do it anyway because in choosing to love them i know this is an action that they need and desire so i choose to do it despite the discomfort because I love them. I hope that makes sense.
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That makes sense. I think love is a choice too and I guess it needs to be an ongoing expression with loved ones…
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For me I had to become okay with the things I feared for a lot of the worries to go away. Like for example I had to become okay with the idea of being cheated on and realize that if someone does that they’re a seperate person from me and move on from the thought. Before that it was all I could think about. Doesn’t mean it’s okay but I had to make it okay in my mind to get over it. That was the only way I got over it.
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About loving others do it in your own way maybe making someone a gift remebering something they are interested in and aknowledge it umm just all kinds of things remembering a special occasion , phoning just to say hi and chat etc
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Thank you.
My last boyfriend was all too handsome and so many girls wanted him and exes still had some of him so i constantly felt jealous and some sick hatred hopelessness. Even though I’m not with him anymore, (it’s been like 3 months, but two weeks since I’ve seen him) i still have that feeling and like the cheating thing I’m going to have to be okay with how i feel about him too. It’s hard to say the least.
To learn to love is to love without strings attached.
Love because you do, not because you expect same in return.
Protect your heart but never refuse to love because your afraid, your heart beats for you, and only you, you share feelings, not your blood.
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What about refusing to love family situations because i prefer isolation. Is that so bad?
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Not measured in good nor bad, but in loss. If you’re families supportive, and you don’t want their company, your loss.
If they’re not so much good for you on a regular basis, your isolation maybe protecting you for now.
Nothing is written in stone, sometimes we just aren’t ready to be with our family more. That’s just the way it is, no sense in making it more difficult for you than necessary.
Just be warned though, life isn’t fair, and sometimes by the time you figure out you really want more of someone, life may not agree and they are no longer there for you.
I used to fight with my ex if a girl came to fix his computer or something ridiculous because the fear was so strong. Sadly I only started to change after we broke up. Anxiety and those thoughts are extremely hard to deal with. It comes from the fear of losing the person though. A good thing to remember is that that fear is what’ll push them to leave, rather than them cheating and you leaving or working on it instead.
I isolate and withdraw socially.
I was paranoid about all of my family but did not break all contact with them but tried too n believed they did not love me n were up to mischief so to say.
I believe my mum may have love/hate for me but definitely 
️.
Whether she my real mum or not she loves me I think.
My boyfriend s friends n parents have attacked me with invisible weapons.
One of his male friends I suspect is homo n jealous n the others are jealous in another way.
I had paranoia my bf wanting his x back n proposed to her but I would sue him plus he is with me now and said he wants to spend rest of his life with me.
His dating profile said trustworthy,honourable, one woman man and I believe he is faithful to me.
None of my boyfriends have been protective of me from their friends n parents.
If I’m getting attacked with weapons I should not be alone with it but have been in a way I think.
My best friend I had who was my bf did not even defend me when his friend said I’m ugly n ment it n said it with hate.
Apparently he had turned down a barbie girl that wanted him.
Maybe he turned her down for me n then I was f##### up.
I need to learn better self defence so I can kick the whole worlds arse if they are all against me .
N no army, invisible weapons or gang of stuck up nasty friends of bf can attack me n get away with behaving that way to me but quickly change their ways.
Before I met my bf on line I was always alone.
I met few men but have no friends etc
I went to bed at 7 pm every night.
When his friends come over I usually give them coffee to be polite n then withdraw.
Ten yrs ago I heard family n it was agony but better now.
Blessed be.
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You might be able to meditate.
Some people can get help from therapy.(not me it seems)(I don’t like or believe in it for me n refuse it)
But it works for some they say.
The right person can perhaps change your worldview. I tend to fall in love at the drop of a hat, but when it’s with the right person I tend to feel pretty comfortable with them.
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