Man what a hellacious Valentine’s Day that was. You spent it all alone with nobody to be romantic with. If you are a guy like me it was likely due to the usual crappola like fear of commitment since she’ll probably find someone better somewhere down the road, lack of money, schizophrenic genes, lack of a job, car, nice part of town to live, or living with your Mother. Or admit it the fact she’ll be the boss and you’ll be her tool doesn’t appeal to you either. So you didn’t send the card, didn’t make the phone call, or just don’t know anyone to contact other than your Mother. So here is a day for us and this is how you spend it.
- Look at your wallet and imagine how much less money you’d have if you got her a gift.
- Spend the extra money on steak, a baked potato, and if the lonely eating hasn’t made you diabetic yet a dessert. You deserve it.
- Call your Mother and tell her you love her. After all she’s probably the best woman you’ve known.
- Go to sleep whenever you please
(or maybe you can just commit and take a chance on love. If she throws you out you can always take the Greyhound back home. Happy travels.)