Yeap, i know… Its still a balance to me, cause ive been a bit too ‘‘egocentric’’ in the past and even not sensible about the others, but i suffered a lot too… Its a lot to not have a life since 25 years, yeah… I dont even know the real life out there, cause i was sick since kid and no one didnt see nothing wrong about me until my diagnosis… Ok, ill try. But if meds doesnt help enough, seth, i should now rely on myself? Can i change just by efforts? its tricky i find… My mother thinks, that if efforts were enough, there wouldnt have be mentally ill people on earth lol… Anyway, maybe i’ll be forever a bit way crazy, but the problem is that i have so much awareness that i cant be happy even like this…