Please don’t take this as rude, just curious! How do you know they are delusions if you believe they are real?
One paranoid delusion I had was I was being poisoned. I never was. But it’s possible I was in a past life, different parallel universe in accordance to many world’s interpretation. I still have the memories. Was it my fault?
I also had the belief/thought my psychiatrist gave me a placebo or water pill for Latuda. That crap didn’t work. I thought I was being targeted electronically, but I have no evidence. I had a neurologist tell me I wasn’t schizophrenic. But the 2 MRIs must have done something negative to me. It’s common for those with similar delusions to think the MRIs unblocked memories or the barrier.
So I know I’m delusional, but in a many world’s sense, I’m not because they did happen in my past lives or different lives I’ve lived in parallel universes. The problem is I remember them from a long fing time ago.
I’m in a causal loop, apparently, and I still remember stuff that never happened in this worldline or timeline. Freaky, huh?
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I kinda had insight but kinda not in my second relapse:
On the one hand,
I thought I was needing to obey orders of the voices in order to go heaven rather than hell. And if I go on the antipsychotic the voice may stop and I’d go to hell instead for stomping out the voices.
On the other hand,
I thought that the voices are just an illness and if I keep delaying antipsychotics then it would become more difficult to treat me.
Well, they are delusions to other people or my pdoc, but to me they are really happening. And, come to think of it, I know some of my delusions are delusions and some are really happening.
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I have a problem with insight. I’m very bad at figuring out what’s real and what’s not. I try though. People often throw it in my face if I’m wrong about something. I don’t know why. 
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I believed all of my delusions and had no insight.
It’s only recently I realise that I was delusional.
Now that I am better and not delusional I clearly see that I was very very delusional for many many years and I have had so many delusions and I believed them all.
It’s only recently that I accept I have schizophrenia.
It took over twenty years for me to accept this diagnosis.
My thought now is…
If I get delusional again will I have insight and be able to say “I’m delusional “ and ask for medication increase or something or will I be like I was before and believe it and not tell anyone…
My delusions are usually passing and not too severe, so part of me always suspects they’re not real.
The one that was the hardest to shake was the one about me being put on earth to save someone. I didn’t know who, I just knew I had to gain a lot of wisdom and use it to save the life of someone who would later be important to the world.
It caused me to surround myself with broken people and desperately trying to fix them, burning myself out in the process.
After a while on meds, that delusion faded.
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can you describe what you mean by you have delusions now, but that you recognize it? the reason i ask, is because delusion isn’t suppose to have much if any insight.
I can have them and tell myself that is crazy, but then I go back to what if, and my mind races with false thoughts
If it’s a delusion, none.
I think it’s the way you phrased the question, if I have insight then it’s not really a delusion. I kind of link the two together.
I had kind of a middle of the road phase for a few months between being delusional and getting my insight back. I kind of went back and forth on my beliefs until abandoning them entirely once I accepted the diagnosis and started to improve a bit.
Zero insights during my psychotic episodes but sometimes with my daily paranoia/thought processes im able to think “its just my brain ■■■■■■■ up”. Sometimes i notice it…i know its strange but i still believe.
Okay - i have an ongoing fear that people can read my mind, and that they can do this through eye contact. So i will avoid eye contact or wear sunglasses so people can’t see my eyes. There is a part of me that says this isn’t true…however, there is an even bigger part of me that is convinced it is.
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I’m a lot better from when I was absolutely psychotic and not be able to tell if I am delusional or not. When I had my second psychotic break, I was extremely psychotic and delusional, which I’ve tried everything to hurt myself.
Now I’m a lot better in telling if I am delusional or not. I often have a delusion that other people are talking about me, but I know that it is a lie now. I used to be scared about it and hurt myself in the washroom or in the corner, crying. My friends were very quick to notice it.
I seem to be deluded at the time, that i actually have insight. If you see what i mean. When in reality psychosis has “caught me out” again, and my insight is out the window .
I have a terrible habit of leaving monologues on the duty social worker phone when im delusional. Grandiose self-analytical claims. When in reality its just a load of bollox.
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I also feel that if I make eye contact people can read my mind. It’s scary so I look down when talking with people
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