Interesting, the shadow. Really interesting. I for one am done living in the shadows. Spent a lot of time there, which is probably why I went sz. There really is nothing you need to see there.
Actually everything you need to find is there. All of the painful repressed memories that feed the negative voices are in the shadow.
If you want to complete the human experience then I guess you must include the shadow. I for one am done with it, I will live in the light.
The shadows come from the light. And the light you seek is trapped in the shadow behind a barier of pain and shame.
I see your perspective, I think Ive spent enough time in the dark is all im saying. Im trying to rid my psyche of all the negative so all I experience is comfort. Ive had enough of pain and confusion. I think Ive seen enough to understand what the shadow is though, so mission accomplished.
I can relate. I experience was rather acute and almost drove me to suicide. It lasted about a year and it still consumes a lot i my energy. But the thing is itâs like a door opened into the unconcious and it is only once the crap youâve been avoiding is confronted processed and forgiven that you will be free. Out role in society is to learn to do this then guide society to live in a way they donât put crap there for us to process in the first place or that it is at a level that is tolerable. There is no away only compartmentalization and psychosis is being shoved into those compartments we hide the skeletons and crap. What you resist persists.
Ive dwelled on the demons in my passed for long enough, I understand them well. Ill never be totally free but I can reduce the impact that recollection has on my psyche. I think we might be playing different games. Im stuck in this situation where everyone seems to be reading my mind. I have to really get over my impulses and be at peace and keep my thoughts clean. I dont want to drag myself into the dark. THe only way for me to control the telepathic messages as they really area reflective thing is to conquer my fears. Im pretty much there, now its all about keeping my mind healthfully occupied. Im trying to simplify. AS far as the rest of the people in the world go, they are on their own. Ill speak when spoken to, in context. Thats as far as my concern for them go.
Really think my voices will go away when im done, theyll realize they have nothing to say.
The truama that feeds the âdemonsâ is held somatically by the body. It needs to be somatically experienced and released. A lot of mine I intellectually figured it out but the somatic release was difficult to achieve as those lost fragments of the self trapped behind a layer of shame are slippery and the ego avoids experiencing them directly as evidenced by you saying you donât want to face them.
No im saying I have faced them already. Its stupid if cant let go of your past and live anew. If its not on your mind its doesnt matter, Live a new generate new thoughts embrace your current experience.
You can always relive your experiences. The effects it has on you will fade. You can do it until your finally at peace with whatever it may be and flows through your mind like any other thought, not taking your attention or focus for any longer than you want it to.
When traumas become obsessions you really have to choose to subdue them with distraction.
Personally I would apply both the techniques.
Trust me though Iâm not really bothered by any part of myself or past at this point. I can sort of recall how I got here, but I did it in the midst of the chaos of a schizophrenic mind.
You will find whatever works for you. We are all on our paths.
Perhaps you disagree but my demons donât bother me. I have them in their place. Really maybe it is just the ego that says that. But for me itâs all about purity of mind and intention.
In theory that would be nice but what actually typically happens is we compartmentalize and shove the âawayâ because the ego fears them. In someone with schizophrenia that compartment becomes a voice. Itâs all the crap we hide from all our shame and fear and pain haunting us. It became ours because at some point it was projected into us and the ego used defence mechanisms to avoid dealing with it.
That doesnât seem to be the nature of my voices. I will think on your words.
What Iâm doing seems to be working for me on a functional level. Iâm hoping that eventually this will rid me of my voices. All the past is is memory, it doesnât have to be a greater part of you.
I had a number of voices and they corresponded to the unconcious. So I might have a voice of my impulsive child then a bunch of critical whispers and voice making me feel shame about that impulse the voices telling me everyone knows exactly what Iâm thinking and have been hiding. I remember the ones about other people knowing my fears an they directly relate to past truamas and nightmares. Itâs all connected. Studying psychology did help a lot for me.
The vulnerable child needs to be put back together and the narcisissm faced and itâs going to hurt. You have to surrender. Iâm. Not saying just obey the voices but surrender to that feeling. Allign your ego with the vulnerable child and surrender.
Yeah I really donât have much to regret. Making it easy.
Really Iâm more inclined to believe my voices are telepathic and not subconscious. Why would the mind persecute itself. Not to mention all the telepathy stuff that happens on a daily basis. Itâs probably not real and Iâm just really sick still. Gotta play the game to when or itâll make me feel like the worst kind of person.
Good talking blimblam
Weâre not really seeing eye to eye but your approach seems to be working for you and my approach seems to be working for me.
Take it easy man.
I canât really do that. I have in the past it didnât really help me. I fight the voices by remaining solid and clear minded.
Bryan read your last two statements.
âWhy would the mind persecute itselfâ
âI fight the voicesâ
And the voices have the potential to like tell you information that would ordinarily just get shoved down into your unconcious.
i donât see the voices as having any particular function. They are a product of chaos. They wanted me to kill myself for the longest time. From the beginning of hearing voices when I had absolutely no intention of dying or wanting to die. Where did these original voices come from?
They serve no function man. They arenât trying to help you. They will only drive you to madness.
Tell me did your tactic rid you of your voices?
For me the voices were not the main part of my experience. I think for many the voices will be permenant. When I did experience voices it was when I was in a really really bad state like paranoid and on the verge of a panic attAck or not sure if I was alive dead or dreaming. My psychosis was triggered by an abusive relationship ending and was a mixed with ptsd symptoms, panic attacks, depersonalization etc. I had a black hole feeling in my chest at all times and I eventually stopped fighting the overwhelming pain and surrendered to it and just layed there and felt it somatically in my chest all day everyday for like 7 months. I just layed there basking in my suffering and felt it. Even getting up to brush my teeth took as much effort as running a marathon. When I would fall asleep from focusing on the somatic sensations I would enter dreams dealing directly with what I was dealing with and continue processing it in dreams. The dream world and waking life blurred to the point I realized the same symbols are present in both and are present in the ancient mythologies as well.
Then I had a vision and was clairvoyant for a while. And i havnt heard voices since.
So meditation, somatic experiencing, surrender, crying, lucid or semi lucid dreaming. But the main thing was experiencing the traumas that fed the fear. I sort of formed my own form of meditation and did hundreds and hundreds of hours of it by necessity.
Well Iâm glad it worked for you. My voices are currently pretty quiet and under control. They tell me theyâll never go away which sucks, but itâs alright they are just voices they have no real power over me.
They are quieter in general then they used to be, even though they are still yelling.
Itâs pretty â â â â â â â stupid they donât go away.
I really hate this illness. Life is â â â â â â when you canât even have peace and quiet time.