I had a bad time yesterday / last night. I think it may have been mostly from triggered anxiety, as my mother and her husband left for their vacation last evening, they’ll be gone for a while in Mexico. They were still here though when it started. The entities started talking to me inside of my mind, and they were in an antagonizing mood. The world did not look right and things started to looking they were pulsating. I had to use the restroom, and when I saw myself in the mirror, one of them was looking at me through my own face, and said, “I see you.” I quickly rebuffed it with an irritated, “Well I see you, too,” and walked away. Then I saw my dog in the living room, and it was looking at me through my dog.
That was when I made the call to take one of my left over Olanzapine pills. When it starts to affect my dog, that’s a line in the sand for me, because I love my dog dearly and don’t want him involved in this. Now I only have 2 pills left, though.
But when I take one of these pills in what feels like an emergency situation, it doesn’t make things stop. It just makes me feel so sedated that it’s like I’m too tired and out of it to care about what is happening. Then I inevitably fall asleep and sleep for like 14 hours, which of course is nice. Don’t have to deal with anything if I’m asleep, after all.
When I woke up this morning it was very sunny (still is). The sunshine and calmness around me makes things feel like everything is back to normal, I have no anxiety. Not sure how much of this is from the pill, and how much is because I got some good sleep, calmed down and now it’s sunny. Probably both.
But it worries me that the pills don’t stop the phenomena from happening, just makes me too sedated to get worked up over it. I see the new therapist again tomorrow, and I’m not sure how long I have to see her before the facility lets me have access to the psychiatrist. Then I will have to wait while trying a new medication, for it to kick in.
So I am wondering how long it took for you guys, before your medication actually worked and cleared things up? It always suck trying a new medication and dealing with the side effects, being like a mindless, drooling zombie all the time, and just having ‘faith’ that eventually things will get better.