I have been really suspicious of my neighbor for a while now. I feel they talk bad about me to other people because I can hear it. So I think. When I confronted them they said no and that I’m such a good person they would never talk about a friend that way. They even showed me call logs. I’ve also caught these people in lies they tell about other people and brought that up. They said I was mistaken and misunderstood what was really going on. I’m having trouble discerning what is my paranoia about other people in general and what factual. Since being on meds I am seriously distrustful of other people’s motives about why they talk to me. Would someone really go far to prove a friendship to me if they were lieing?
Is there any sort of reality checks I can do to find out if it’s me having a mental flaw or if there’s really something going on?
And also is it common (if there is something going on) for people to be friends with you for malicious purposes because you have a illness?
Frankly if they went so far as to show you their call history it is evident that you are delusional. I also sometimes had the feeling that someone is talking about me behind my back but it never went as far as you describe.
There are cases when people go to great lengths to exploit someone. The victim of exploitation must be someone with shovels full of money for that. Otherwise it is not worth this effort.
Noone in their right mind is going to subvert a mental patient just for the fun of it. Many feel animalistic fear before mental patients, for good reason.
I strongly doubt anyone is messing with you purposefully. Listen to how the thought makes you feel. If it makes you afraid and distrustful it likely is a delusion. In general with delusions I find the more afraid or agitated I feel the more likely it is to be a scared thought leading to a delusional thought. When I am calm and my thoughts are clear it is easier to trust my judgment. This is true in most cases. Most people are trustworthy, and it sounds like these people are trying to soothe your fears. They sound like good people. It helps to be sceptical of your thoughts and question the truth of them as much as you can especially if you feel agitated or very frightened. Mood follows thought. One negative thought can change your whole mood. One positive thought can do the same.
I know what you’re going through. My upstairs neighbors harass me some of it may be going on but I don’t want to talk about it. I just do my best to ignore it. Don’t worry. You’ll drive yourself crazy if dwell on it. Too much. Headphones and music.
I really appreciate the responses. I really hope I’m having a delusion and am hearing things as what was suggested by them showing their call log. Although my brain immediately wants to say that they deleted the history of the calls or were talk to texting as I know they do. Evidently I still want to argue. Lol. I’ve had a death of someone really important just a couple of days ago. And maybe things I have thought before are far worse now. But the thought that people have other motives has been very strong with me and I can’t seem to shake it. I mounts and mounts till I have PROVEN IT TRUE. Or have I right?
I am so sick of being this confused all the time.
I feel I should just spend more time alone so I can guard the sanctity of my home. And also to create a boundary with my nieghbor that I’m not open to talk all the time. So that I have less room to have suspicion about in general.
You will never be satisfied with any amount of proof. This is how the mental illness affects you.
I expect that even with most strict isolation your thoughts will continue to race and you will remain disturbed. Maybe you will even develop new delusions.
Instead, pay attention to what helps you to calm down. Then invent a grounding ritual for yourself. Counting? Breathing? Praying? Remembering a specific situation or explanation, like how the person you confronted appeared and acted?
None of this will remove suspicions from your mind. But it will help you remember that those thoughts are artificial and pointless.
P. S.
I recommend this only on the basis of what helped me personally. No special training involved, hence, I take no responsibility.
This makes me cry because it’s true. I still know these things are gonna effect me. Even if I’m told. I am fighting myself for acceptance of either reality. Mostly the right one (being that it’s my illness). It doesn’t seem to be happening at the moment. Lol
Sometimes when you check the proof, and a person tells you something the total opposite of what you are contending, and you get that feeling things not making sense at all, it’s a sign of delusion or paranoia… if that make any sense
That is happening I’m checking the proff and it doesn’t add up with what so and so is saying to me. What they are saying is positive things to me and I think they must be lying. But then I think why would this person spend so much time with me if they were against me. And put up with me. I just dont get it. I think I need to stop being drawn into negative thoughts. Cause I’m afraid all this paranoia is gonna ruin my relationships. It has in the past where I have just left friends cause I dont trust people. And the result is I have very few people I talk to and I keep distance from them and they wonder why. I think people want to be my friend and it scares me cause I wonder why, and that opens pandora box of paranoia.
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