This is sad,
My parents are overall toxic sometimes, and I like to compare them with really wrong or bad people, but then I understand that even though they’re not so bad as some people, they were really wrong to me sometimes… its like I try to prove myself, that theyre not that bad
I was never enough, and my mom 100% prefers my brother, till this day, even he is not a good person.
My doctor believes parents caused tons of difficulties in my life.
Same here. offers hug
Big hugs. 
I just wrote a whole post about my family,
simply after reading this stuff here… 
Autism is a nuerodevelopmental disorder that one is born with. Its genetic. It runs in my family
They did however cause my cptsd
For me it was not hostile parenting, though they did criticize me a lot: fat, crazy, bad, etc. It was rather the disorienting style though. Saying something nasty. Then one minute later saying: I did not do that. Being supersweet. Then sexually abusing you or being hostile. Threatening in very subtle ways, so others do not recognize it, and say: they are so sweet, they would never do that. Ex was exactly the same. I thought it was normal. What did I know?
It scares me if people do it now, on purpose. I have ambivalence, when I get scared, but mostly by running off. Not being mean. It is kind…it developped in me in response to their ambivelance…if I expect someone to be scary, from signals, I already start running. Or if they are overly sweet and flattering…I’m: okay, bye, I see what is coming next.
Same!!
Most people who knew my parents for a shorter time said “well they’re normal people”
But my bf who knew them for about a year finally understood how wrong they were.
He never wanted to visit my place from the moment he finally understand they abuse me. He was trying to spend 99% of his time with me at his place then.
Actually, toxic people can seem totally normal at first sight.
But when you get to know them… @Marian
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