This is the kind of thing that shows I’m definitely not normal .Last time I went to put the rubbish out although I keyed in the right number I couldn’t get the door handle to open the shed door. Now I’m getting anxious about putting the rubbish out over the possibility I won’t be able to open the door again. If it doesn’t work again do I leave the rubbish outside the shed door or take it back up stairs? If I take it back up stairs it will stink as it contains half a ready meal fish pie I didn’t like(too much potato,too little fish).
I would give it a try, and just leave the rubbish outside if I couldn’t get the door open.
If you never try, you’ll never know 
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The door opened! It’s hit and miss with it .
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If it doesn’t open I’d leave the trash there by the door. I wouldn’t bring it back in. But that’s just me.
In re: you feel abnormal- I think you should stop focusing on your perceived and real disabilities and start focusing on the skills and abilities that you do have. You’ll feel better and it’ll help you be more successful in what you do
I don’t doubt you’re right, but I struggle to see any strong abilities and skills. Yes I’m very much better verbally than non-verbally , but what good is that when if social interaction was a school test you’d score an F?
You’re not in school anymore. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You’re tearing yourself down regularly. That’s not good. Can you work with a therapist who can help you see your positive qualities and skills?
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For instance, you’re good at helping people by finding informative articles related to their issues. That’s a great quality.
It was said that I’m not suitable for therapy . The reason? - (1)aborted sessions with 2 trained therapists who were more into a ‘You can be a good person if…’ approach whilst doing sod all to actually help (2) ‘Therapy’ from an untrained person at the mental health centre who told me I had poor self confidence while putting me down at every opportunity. She announced several sessions in that she was a member of a small religious sect. That was was quickly followed by dumping me for inadvertently upsetting her religious sensibilities.
After that came the ‘Not suitable for therapy’ label. I’d probably have to go private which is very expensive. Then there is the additional factor of getting a therapist who’s good at working with someone on the autistic spectrum. Many aren’t.
The truth is anyone with a modicum of intelligence could do that ,if they wanted to.
Well now I know why you have low self esteem. Those therapists were jerk. You obviously care about others, you don’t seem quick to anger, you’re kind and thoughtful. And not everyone is good at finding relevant, useful information like you are. Really. I know after all you’ve been through it’s difficult, but please try to not be so hard on yourself. You genuinely don’t deserve it.
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