Hi. My boyfriend and I recently broke up because i felt disconnected from him and he said he couldn’t do anything about it. I later found out that it is because of him being schizophrenic and him having a rough past. I feel awful and I want to help him because I know he doesn’t have anyone that will. He thinks so negatively about himself and I just want to know what I can do and what I can learn. I want him to be happy. This is killing me. He says it is too late for me to help him but I know that’s not true. I care about him too much to just not do anything.
How old are you?
If he has schizophrenia, the main treatment for that is medications . . .
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If you’re in the 18-25 range, hitch your wagon to another star…you have your whole life ahead of you.
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There’s a family forum on this site if you want further input.
I can be quite blunt sometimes.
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I am in that range but I am worried about him. I never wanted us to be apart but I felt alone in our relationship at times. I just want the best for him. I am going to a support group on Wednesday to learn more and to see if this is something I can handle. He doesn’t even want to be around me because he says it hurts to much but maybe we can get through this
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He used to take it but he said it didn’t help him. Does he need to try a different type of medication?
I can’t just ignore that he needs help. I would never forgive myself if something happens to him
You can’t help him though. I could never understand why normal people think that they can help or fix someone with a mental illness. It’s not like a cut that you can put a bandaid on and forget about it. Or a broken bone that will heal with a cast. Mental illnesses are incurable and often require not just one medication but multiple, along with potentially needing dosages altered, extensive therapy, and close monitoring by a licensed psychiatrist. No where in any of those treatment options is “concerned person who just wants to help” included. Yes a good support system is important but only in the sense that it helps emotionally. And if he doesn’t wanna be around you cuz it hurts him, then you need to give him his space. Physiologically there is nothing you can do. Sorry for being so blunt, but it’s just the truth
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Listen you need to let the guy think twice about what he’s doing-which is refusing to fix is problems…which means the guy IS A PROBLEM MAKER. Don’t wait on him or think twice until he hits rock bottom and climbs out of his own doings.
So in other words if he doesn’t help himself then no one can really help him. I get it. Thank you
He’s not a problem maker he is a good person. He says he wants to fix things but doesn’t know how. I am just praying that he figures it out and actually does.
Don’t be naive he knows he needs to talk to a professional and he won’t. He may even wind up homeless but you can’t do anything about it it’s really his decision to get medication and get better.
Yes It’s almost like addiction. You can’t help an addict unless they want to get better. The same is true for mental illness. I really hope he gets the help he needs. But please don’t feel like you’re responsible for whatever happens
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He needs to find the right therapy and medication. If he just tried one med it does not say another does not work.
He says it hurts to be with you. Maybe he wants to save you from his suffering.
Think about that this is often a life long illness. You will end up as a care taker. Not wife or mom. You will take care of an adult who is going through hell if he does not get help. That will make your life hell too.
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If he isn’t on medication and seeing a psychiatrist he is not going to get better. simple as that…if you really want to help him take him to see a psychiatrist.
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I think he’s been to one before and stopped going after he met me. Should I tell him about the support group that I found ?
WE’d snap em into shape maybe, but he really needs to see a pro on this stuff, watch out for quacks.
It is nice you are hanging in there for him, hard to find friends now a day that will do that, all the advice I can give is offer your help, let him know you are there, at the same time offering suggestions of things he needs to do, then at some point if he does not want to do his part you have to tell him, you can only be there if he helps himself.
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