Would someone please want to help me overcome my delusions in a rational way?
I use meds now, but sometimes my delusional thoughts still pop up for a moment. It’s okay now, not too terrifying, in a more fleeting way, but I just know that the delusions are still there deep down and I’m only suppressing them with meds. I hate that. I want to change my thinking.
This is my belief system without meds:
The bible is literally and completely Godly word for word. I should have great love for God and all people. I should keep all the rules. Otherwise I will go to hell.
So, I failed. I’m not feeling much love anymore, I did not follow the rules and I fell away from christianity, criticizing it. That’s an unforgivable sin.
Therefore, I’m doomed. I will be tortured forever in hell and so will my son.
My illness (terror of going to hell) and the effects of the meds (no love, no joy) are a sure sign that I am doomed and the Holy Spirit has left me.
There are also all these coincidences that scare me when off meds (and sometimes on meds too):
A random example: every time I prayed for God to tell me in my dreams whether my soul could still be saved, I had the most horrific dreams of losing my soul, losing Gods love, etcetera (of course that was what I was thinking of all day as well). I got terrified of these nightmares, believing they were true, and relapsed into fullblown psychosis. When in the ward my mum by accident gave me a sleeping t-shirt with the text: “Take your dreams seriously”. That’s when I collapsed even more, seeing it as a clear sign to believe in my nightmares (thanks, mum :)). I still find it difficult to see such coincidences as coincidences.
Could someone please give me all sorts of rational arguments why my delusional fears are not real? Rational arguments I can read and re-read on bad moments?
Religious delusions are common in people with schizophrenia so you’re not alone. Delusions are hard to shake. Maybe with medication and talk therapy with a therapist or a psychiatrist would give you some comfort. I’ve had paranoid schizophrenia for over 35 years. I had many delusions in the past and I still have a lot right now. All I can say is that some of my delusions just kind of faded away or disappeared completely. I have no tricks or methods or procedures that can reliably get rid of delusions. I have no guaranteed method that always works to get rid of delusions.
Just because you pray to God to reveil things to you in a dream doesn’t mean he will. Better answers are found in his word. Our God is of peace love and forgiveness. We will always battle sin , only God himself is perfect, he doesn’t expect anyone to be blameless .
No sole is incapable of being saved, not even the worst. A great price has been paid for the forgiveness of sins and who are we to say it’s not sufficient. God loves all people and wishes all people to repent and accept his gift.
@NiceHat. Oh sorry, I did not know that. I didn’t mean to offend anyone or convince people of my perspective on faith (rather the opposite actually, to get rid of my own unhealthy perspective :)).
Anyway, thanks all, for your help.
@77nick77 I am happy to hear that some delusions faded away…both for you and for giving me a bit of hope that mine will fade too.
I guess accepting that I’m not perfect and need not be perfect to please God, is most important.
@Minnii, maybe they don’t fit me, but what methods did you use to get rid of your religious delusions?
There is no hell according to the old testament, the word sheol, from which it was translated, means mainly grave, not a realm, and according to the new one Jesus died for your sins, so whatever you do, you will always be forgiven.
Not really my faith, but just trying to help from the inside from what I know.
I just realized that I don’t actually know the truth, I will never know as long as I’m alive. That it was healthier for me to assume that for myself, than to believe in the stories that were hurting me.
Luck is a big factor in anyone’s recovery. Working hard on your recovery is a must but luck plays a huge role in who will get better and who won’t. A 100% of people with schizophrenia suffer. I know most non-schizophrenics suffer too but I think our suffering is more hellish, and intense than lots of other people.
But even in our own community here, some people have it rougher than others. Some people like me seem to have more resources in their area available to fight this disease, Its just luck. But the old saying is true, “You make your own luck” in many cases. You do the basics like taking your medication, seeing a therapist and psychiatrist if you can, DON’T DO DRUGS, co-operate with the people who are trying to help you.
There’s no over-night cure. I am recovered in a lot of ways now, but it took years of hard work when I was younger to get to the stage I am now. I’m not Warren Buffet, lol, but I’ve had many creature comforts in my life and I’ve lived comfortably for many years. I had to do many things that I disliked very much at the time to get where I am today. But now that I have twenty years perspective on me and my disease, I see clearly that attending the vocational programs when I did not want to, making 95% of my doctors appointments, taking meds steadily, sitting in the support groups, getting clean and sober, all of these contributed to the positive aspects of my life in the present.
Me, medication took away all my delusions, I can only manage on a high dose of multiple medications. So thats the only way out I know, it worked for me. All my delusions were in the moment, they didn’t last past my psychosis. So my suggestion is:
1.increase meds
2.add on another med
3. make sure you take them at the same time everyday
4.maybe consider having hobbies/work/school to keep yourself occupied (after meds have worked)
5. dont relegate yourself to a life of terror and guilt, think positively
I’m Atheist too but , for what it’s worth; God is not sending you to Hell. You’re a good person with an illness. If there is a God, he loves you immeasurably and wants you to get well. Take your meds. Maybe adjust them or add on and go to therapy. I have a long standing delusion ,that I am still battling with, and part of that delusion is the paranoia that I will be sacrificed mentally and physically all for the purposes of studying me like a rat. It’s HORRIBLE to be afraid of something like that. I feel you. I do. Meds and therapy. That’s my approach and I can’t imagine how bad it would be without that. Good luck.
