It seems to be that time again. My head is buzzing. The voices, both internal and external, are getting louder. I’m not sleeping. I’d forget to eat if my wife didn’t remind me. I’m as irritable as all hell, working out like a fiend and have zero patience. I’m also phenomenally interested in cutting, which is my vice when I spin up.
Oh, and today at work I was f-ing brilliant. Which is usually a bad thing. I’m smart, but not that smart.
My pdoc, therapist and I have been paring back my psych meds and this is going to be the first manic/mixed episode I’ve had since dropping one mood stabilizer and, more importantly, getting rid of all my risperdal and cutting my seroquel in half. The voices are loud now and the visual stuff is spinning up. I’m taking my klonipin to see if I can deaden them a bit, but I’m pretty sure it’s not going to help much.
I have an appt with my therapist tomorrow and my pdoc on Friday. If I show up to those appts like this, they’re likely to insist that I check myself into my favorite crisis unit for a crash dose of antipsychotics (aka Haldol with an increase in my daily dose.
Here’s the deal. I don’t want the hospital and I really don’t want the increased antipsychotics. It’s taken 3 months to get me to where my brain started unfogging, and although the voices have gotten a little louder (I have always heard them 24x7 regardless of my med level - meds just make them more tolerable) I have been working on other ways to cope with them. This is also the first time going in with the schizoaffective dx. Up until now it’s been for uncontrolled bipolar. I’m not sure how that will affect the meds they give me.
Sorry for the rambling - another sign of ramping up. But I’m interested in what are your thoughts…
Try antipsychotic that treat both schizophrenia and bipolar. I also took mood stabilizer but cannot tolerate the weight gain, so I am now prescribed with aripiprazole.
Yeah, Seroquel is pretty much the bomb for psychosis combined with mood destabilization. And I take high dose lithium. We just pulled me off lamictal. But I’m only taking 200 mg of seroquel now, down from 400 mg plus 4 mg of Risperdal. I’m afraid they’ll force me onto something different and/or increase my seroquel dosage. I’ve been working super hard to get them down.
Why not you go to see different psychiatrist. Your new doctor might ask for your medicine brand verbally. I don’t think he or she will need to refer for your medical history. Your new doctor can evaluate you again.
I must not be being clear. I like my pdoc, and I love my therapist. What I’m scared of is the hospital that this swing will end me up in if I can’t get it under control before then.
I didn’t take my meds last night. I woke up early, engaged with the world and remembered my dream. Sort of like normal. I wish that could last. Kind of frazzled now -
The meds for bipolar disorder and SZA are basically the same - they might increase the Risperdal temporarily or load you on a strong antimanic mood stabilizer like Depakote ER temporarily until the Mania or mixed episode is killed off - they also might add some Haldol to kill of the mania or mixed episode, but it would probably be for up to 2 weeks or less- I dont think these med changes would be long lasting - good luck to you
@Wave. Yeah, my pdoc didn’t change my meds when he changed my diagnosis to schizoaffective. For a short time before I was dx’ed, he doubled up my antipsychotics but then soon after took the risperdal away and cut my Seroquel to 200 mg. Now my hallucinations are out of control and I’m all sorts of manic, but the doc I saw today after my therapist squealed on me (my pdoc is in Sri Lanka) increased it to 300 rather than send me to the crisis unit. I’m not sure he got how bad the hallucinations (auditory, visual and tactile) are when I get manic, but I’m happy to be sleeping in my own bed tonight.
Wow…this is insanely similar to what I go through…it’s just crazy for me to see people who experience the same thing. I’m not on meds though, and mine’s less severe than yours. My episodes usually only take 2-3 weeks to calm down on average, depending on my stressors. Dear lord I can’t imagine spending 3 months like that.
@Anna I actually rapid cycle so a manic cycle can last a manner of days before crushing depression sets in, only to cycle a few days later. My cycles last anywhere from 1-2 days to a month or so. It’s unpredictable. And the voices, visual and tactile hallucinations are constant regardless of the mood. What changes is how evil they are. Right now I’m way manic and the sz symptoms are raging.
Same, I experience the hallucinations/delusions and all that jazz all the time as well, but the only time they become scary and threatening is during my episodes. So far I generally experience mania more towards the end of my episodes, so the periods are briefer, only a few days. I don’t think I go through a depressive stage though, the prevailing feelings during my episode are unbearable anxiety and paranoia.