He might want kids now

Ok, and I am scared. Because I want to be a healthy mum and I’d have to be off my meds to give birth. I would like to be a mum but I don’t feel that it is necessary I have to give birth to care for the child. I am perfectly happy to consider adoption or surrogacy if he also wants to go ahead. But as I said I am scared as the doc told me not to get pregnant while on these meds.

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I understand your concerns. Maybe adoption can be an option… whoa that rhymes.

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Tupac said

“And since a man needs a woman to create one, he has no right to tell a woman when and where she should make one”.

I think that’s how it went.

I mean, don’t let him like push u around into having kids or something unless you really want it to happen.

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I have always wanted to adopt but a lot of thought goes into that and when we do adopt we would need to find a way to help them through the adoption and any psychological issues relating to it. Because I have seen so many youtube videos on the children who were adopted and it really effects them mentally…

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@anon80629714 . Let the boy know these concerns. Adoption is good too. You can still be a great parent!

Relationships are partnerships so both be on board!

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It is an option. But I am very scared my illness would get in the way.

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Luckily, you don’t have to decide right now.
Wait until you at least live together and know you’re compatible.

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No need to decide right now but absolutely no harm in thinking about it. Something we need to be sure about when we get there.

Yes, it’s good to know you’re on the same page

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Adoptions are expensive but then so is having kids in general. I wish my wife and I would have done fertility treatment and had more children but it’s too late now. She is in menopause. Fertility treatment is expensive too. My best friend and his wife spent about $10,000 on having their first child with fertility treatment but then she got pregnant again without it and they have two now.

Good luck with what you decide.

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I’m going through the foster/adoption process right now, for pretty much the same reason. My doctor said the hormonal imbalances of pregnancy and post-partum would be really hard on me, and I would need to go on different meds that might not work as well. I don’t know how it works in your country, but here it’s pretty straightforward. We passed an interview, then I need to get a physical done by my doc, and a waiver signed by my therapist, and we are going through a class. It’s a lot of fun, so far.

You’re right that adoption emotionally affects kids, but I think, given your background, you would be a great mom to a kid struggling with mental health. You would be able to recognize the early signs and teach them coping skills and such. There is a strong need for loving homes, and it’s getting harder for kids to be adopted nowadays, because of the success of fertility treatments. The wait used to be like seven years, now it’s more like two,

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Congratulations @ninjastar I really hope the child finds you you’d be an amazing parent :blush: - gives me hope my illness is not as big an obstacle as I thought

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TO ALL, I had a hysterectomy. I have no children, no husband. I do wonder if I could be a good Mom, though. Hmmmph

Have a very serious talk with you pdoc about this. Find out all your options.

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