He irritates me. It more than irritates me. Rant time

My co-worker. I’ve been working with him for about three years now. He’s alright most of the time.

Actually at my job, it’s rare for me to work shoulder to shoulder with any of my co-workers. I’m usually off on my own doing my own thing most of the day, working by myself. I love it that way. The company I work for hires mainly veterans and disabled people. So they know my diagnosis but they treat me perfectly.

There is not one ounce of stigma, disrespect, or treating us differently than any other worker at any other job. I’ve had my janitor job for 5 years but my original boss sold her company to my present employer last year. During this year I think my diagnosis was mentioned and said out loud only once, or maybe twice. These types of companies are out there folks.

But I don’t tell my co-workers my diagnosis and I don’t ask theirs, It’s nobodies business but mine. My philosophy has always been, " Why tell someone something that they will only use against you?" That’s been my motto for decades.

But to get back to my co-worker. He suffers from Social Anxiety Disorder, he volunteered the information and I didn’t pry. I don’t think any less of him for his diagnosis. But I did hear him once disrespecting my other co-worker who I believe has paranoid schizophrenia and laughing at him. His perceived superiority over the other guy is stupid and petty and most of all, it’s ridiculous… I guess he’s just insecure.

But he knows I’m disabled but he doesn’t know my exact diagnosis. But I expect to be treated just as a worker like I been treated at any other job I’ve had. But here’s what irritates me about him. I do my best at work and I get tired and stressed. I get fatigued in the morning and it lasts all day. This guy has twice now come up to me when I’m tired and vulnerable ( in a way) and says, "Yeah, it’s hard being disabled.People like us have a hard time etc.

I know, in a way, (after knowing him for three years) that he is trying to be sensitive and he means well. But to me, when he starts that “people like us” stuff it just strikes me as he wants me to give up my keeping my diagnosis private and he wants me to feel as bad as him. I don’t need someone feeling sorry for me. It’s unwanted and unnecessary. And the fact that he hits me at my tiredest just gets under my skin. I wouldn’t call him a predator by any means but there’s a smidgen of it when he talks to me. He just picks those moments when my defenses are down and he start the attitude of, “Oh, poor us”. I don’t need that at work. There’s a smidgen of condescension there too.

I don’t need that. I irritates me and it makes me mad. Like he wants me to give up or something and face the stigma he faces. I don’t look down on anybody because of their diagnosis but my choice is not to talk about mine and I don’t need pressure put on me to reveal it. I don’t need anyone subtly telling me how I should feel about my situation at work. or try to act like I should be depressed or something because of it.

I don’t needed any commiserating conversations especially at the moments this guy picks. It’s like he’s almost being sneaky and forcing upon me how I should feel. OK, rant over.

1 Like

Yeah i get you. You don’t entertain that self pity attitude that he’s been forcing on you.
And I also get crawls in my skin when people try to collectivize me… I feel it like its an attack on my personal freedom.
But the things is there are such people. And i dont think they do it because they are mean but because they just operate on that level of thought. I don’t even think they perceive it as wrong. You just can’t expect from everyone to be that thoughtful…

Maybe you should try to answer him the way he could understand that you do not feel pity for yourself and that there is nothing wrong with feeling bad and taking a time out when you need it. Normies also do it

Yep, you get me alright Sarad.
Good answer. You’re pretty much on target with everything you said.
I will try to give him the message that I am doing fine and I don’t feel sorry for myself. Have a good night.

1 Like

Sounds to me like he’s picking a fight. Sometimes fighting is in the air. A housemate and I just got into an altercation a couple of days ago. It all blew over. If he irritates you, go ahead and speak up. There shouldn’t be any bad consequences.

[quote=“chordy, post:4, topic:54008”]
Sounds to me like he’s picking a fight’

I don’t really get that vibe from him.

Then you don’t think he is aware of the way he affects you?

He may be. He may not.

People like us…

I tend to cut them off with, “No, not us, It’s people like YOU.”


Yeah, next time he does it, just calmly answer, “We’re all different”

1 Like

He sounds like a complete pain in the arse
I’d rant as much as you like
Can you tell anyone in person like friend / family?

Effectively he’s just playing 'ain’t it awful’
I don’t play that one either

Games people play